The Monroe Legacy - G.3. Chapter 17 - Blind Spots

Rachel's insistence that Casper's obsession with Tia was a phase he would grow out of took a hit when his fifth birthday and the start of school arrived with no sign of Tia's exit from family life. So adamant was Casper that Tia was real that he wouldn't even have a birthday party after his parents tried to reason that they didn't need to add Tia's name to the invite or buy her a cake.

Whilst they didn't mind Casper being a bit lost in his imagination his attachment to Tia was becoming a problem. He would get upset and angry any time they refused to set a place for Tia at the table or forget to wait for her to get  in the car.

Rachel made a preliminary visit to child psychologist, returning furious after "that loony old battle-axe" tried to tell her that her son's imaginary friend was a coping mechanism made necessary by his father's absence in his formative weeks and an underlying favouritism towards the female children on the house. 

Whilst it was true that Gray had missed his son's first ten days, she hadn't been constantly there either, thanks to the nature of the NICU and they'd always worked hard to ensure that even when Eva had been at her most demanding, they had compensated accordingly with extra time for Casper.

Gray tried to calm his wife down, to underplay the difficulty that they'd been facing with their son but the fact remained that he lived primarily in a fantasy world he'd created for him and his imaginary friend. School improved things slightly, Casper loved to learn and the access school gave him to information and new ideas seemed to counteract his natural urge to withdraw from situations.

His teachers sent home glowing reports which soothed his parents worries, it seemed that he did interact with other children in a classroom setting though he rarely socialised in the playground. He excelled in science and maths and had little time for art or sport. Casper also became obsessed with Harry Potter, trying numerous times to sneak out of the house in robes and when Gray spoke to him about it settling instead for wearing his "uniform" everyday, he was in Ravenclaw, he insisted.

When he asked for a chemistry set to use at home, to make "potions", Gray was pleased to dig Sienna's old one out of storage. Having this new focus made Casper easier to handle at home, he engaged slightly more with the family (though he mainly tried to use Eva and Lillia as potion testers) and spent less time shut away talking to himself. Tia seemed not to care for chemistry and whilst Casper's insistence that, 'he was doing it for both of them' made no sense to his parents, Gray and Rachel agreed that they'd give it a year, hope the chemistry thing stuck and if Tia was still Casper's only friend at that point they'd go back to another psychologist.

Whilst Casper flew at school and struggled socially, Lillia was the opposite. She had more friends than she really had time for and continued to struggle academically. Between play dates and swim meets she barely had time to do her schoolwork and her GPA fell to a C.

Gray was frustrated with the school, they knew she needed longer to grasp things but as one of their sporting stars they kept cutting her academic hours to make space for training and he could see the toll this was taking on his daughter. Whilst they wanted Lillia to reach her sporting potential she was still too young for such intense training.

Gray and Rachel talked about moving Lillia to a private school where they specialised in small class sizes and different ways of teaching the curriculum but with the restaurant still on such tenuous footing there was no way they could afford it right now.

They settled for pulling her out of some of her sporting activities, leaving only swimming and soccer and coaching her as best they could at home. Lillia sulked, she hated school and missed athletics but at least she now had more time to spend with her friends without having to panic about homework.

Lillia and her cousin Rose, one of Jet's triplets, became especially close. The two girls spent most evenings at one of their houses, Rose preferring the hi-tech modern features of Lillia's house and Lillia loving to hang out with the horses at Jet's ranch.

As the year progressed the two girls grew closer, ruling the school social scene and dominating in extracurriculars too. Rose was head cheerleader of the local youth squad and with Lillia's sporting prowess they became the group to try and get in with. The addition of dance team star Daisy to their little posse earned them the collective name "The flowers" and as they advanced in years so too did their social standing climb.

Rachel was secretly thrilled that her daughter was so popular, she'd always been something of an outcast but swore to herself she would make sure that her daughter would never develop any of the less attractive qualities which the popular crowd had demonstrated in her day. All girls loved to gossip but she was pretty sure it was all harmless.... right?

For now at least Lillia seemed happy enough, her grades were passable and she was growing up well.

As Lillia found her place in the school social structure Eva was growing out of it. Finals were over and she'd just turned eighteen, she was praying that her results would reflect the months of hard graft she'd put into studying with Hayden. He was confident that she would pass, confident to the extent that he'd planned one last session to get her started on her advance reading for freshman year.

When he texted to postpone, Eva felt a sinking in her stomach, she wouldn't even get to say goodbye, he'd just discovered that he'd won a Rhodes scholarship and in a few short months would be setting off to experience life at Cambridge University, England. Eva was sure he would never think of her again.

To her surprise Hayden made contact and rescheduled her send-off session asking her to meet him at the park rather than their usual destination of her dining room table. As hard as Eva tried she couldn't crush the butterflies that this last, out of character, meeting stirred up. She spent longer than usual on her makeup, just in case...

As Eva arrived at the park she started second guessing her outfit choice, she was usually found in a jumper dress so her current ensemble was not in her comfort zone which made the amount of attention the male population if the park were giving her all the harder to process. As she saw Hayden's mouth drop open and his eyes widen, Eva changed her mind. The new look was definitely working.    

Their session was awkward, a long way from their usual companionable banter. Eva kept catching Hayden staring at her in a way she had long dreamed he might. Now he was finally taking notice she didn't exactly know what to do with herself. She was used to the kind of guy she could read like a book, who told her she was beautiful and wanted only one thing from her. She knew these guys from her childhood observances of life in Garcia's compound but sometimes used them to prove to herself  that she was desirable and adored, even if only for one night.

Hayden was different. She felt like her usual brazen flirting would scare him off so instead she was just unusually quiet. As they packed away her books and notes Eva's heart sank. She was sure she'd blown her only chance with her inexplicable shyness. So it was a huge surprise when Hayden invited her to his celebration party that weekend.

Eva went with high hopes which were soon crushed. Hayden's pleasure at her arrival was soon buried by his college buddies trying to make him play beer pong and she barely saw him for the hour she stayed. As she left she heard a voice call out,

'Eva. Wait up'

Hayden jogged after her and she kept walking away, trying to keep her tone light as she called back.

'Great party Hayden, have fun in England. I gotta get back for my curfew.'

She was surprised when he caught up with her and more surprised still that he fell in step with her and began to walk her home. They didn't talk about anything important and too soon they arrived at the Monroe's gate.

'I'm going to miss you!' Eva blurted, slapping her hand over her mouth as she realised what she'd said. 'As a friend of course. I mean a tutor. I'll miss... The studying. That's all!'

Hayden looked confused.

'I'm going to miss you too', he replied. 'As a friend. We are friends you know.'

Eva smiled shyly as he continued,

'Sometimes I thought we could even be... Forget it. It's silly'.

Eva's heart started pounding. This was impossible.

'What's silly?' She asked, closing the gap between them almost imperceptibly. 'Hayden you can tell me'. She touched his hand softly with hers, seeing his eyes widen in the darkness and feeling him squeeze her hand as if to check it was real.

'Eva... I.... I just think you're perfect. I mean you're smart and funny and you don't care what people think. God you're beautiful. But I'm leaving and I'm such a nerdy guy I never thought... dammit. Eva if you don't go right now I'm going to try to kiss you'.

She didn't, and he did.

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Read the next chapter - 18. Denial and Diagnosis 

The Monroe Legacy - G.3 Ch.16 - Mind, Matter and Maverick

There were times when Gray could look back at Eva's "absent" period and almost miss it. The quiet periods of her long sulks were gone and the chaos which replaced it was total. For the most part it was a joyful, well-intentioned madness but some days being Eva's dad was harder than being her keeper had been. And it never ended.

It took less than a week from Eva deciding to make the most of life in Lucky Palms to her first disaster. An ambitious and ill advised science fair product caught fire and smoked out the entire gymnasium. A coughing principal pulled Gray to one side and informed him that Eva had been expressedly forbidden from attending with what she referred to as her "madcap death-trap" and her disobedience carried the cost of suspension.

Eva took it in stride, filling out her assigned work at home and spoiling Lillia rotten, the two were becoming inseparable. Lillia would follow Eva wherever she went and had even been found trying to colour in her hair with a pink crayon. Casper was more circumspect, wary of the noise that seemed to accompany his big sister's presence.

Gray worried a little at the noticeable difference between his daughters and his son. While Lillia was bubbly and chatty, always in trouble and laughing with her sister, Casper was quiet and kept mainly to himself. Rachel told him not to worry, that every child was different, but Gray couldn't shake his uneasiness.

For all his quietness, Casper was an exceptionally bright child. He scored in the top five percent in his childhood development tests, mastered the peg box in no time and could even read all of the toddler books by himself by the time he was three and a half. For a while he didn't talk. Gray and Rachel knew that he could talk, because they had heard him chattering away to his favourite toy, a puppet doll that someone had sent for the christening.

Through the door they could hear Casper trying out words and phrases, leaving pauses for the doll to "respond". As soon as they went in he would quieten down, rocking the doll and humming wordlessly. Even Rachel admitted she found it weird but before they had a chance to become to concerned Casper started speaking to them. In full sentences. It seemed that he was perfecting his speech before he would use it.

Those baby years slipped by and too soon it was time for Lillia to start school. Rachel had taken her out shopping for an outfit to wear on her first day and was amused to discover that her daughter wanted nothing more than to copy her half-sister. Everything she picked out was black or bright pink and had bones or cats on it. Although Rachel was pleased that they were close,especially as Eva seemed to be doing so well, her GPA now a B and the latest unsavoury boyfriend dumped, she didn't really want Lillia starting school as a mini goth! Eventually they compromised on a funky tartan skirt like the one Eva wore to parties and a navy blue jumper.

Rachel couldn't help her eyes filling with tears as she saw her baby girl all grown up for the first time. For so long she'd wondered whether she would get over her past, whether she would find a man who could love her, insecurities and all and whether or not she would be blessed with a second chance at motherhood. She'd never dared to dream of this, a beautiful house, an adoring husband and two, no three, children who she would do anything for. Smiling at Gray as the cake candles smoked, Rachel couldn't believe how lucky she was and judging by the look in her husband's eyes as he surveyed the scene, neither could he.

As Lillia started school and Eva began her senior year Gray and Rachel had to face some hard decisions. A recent economic downturn hadn't been kind to their restaurant, they weren't bankrupt yet but they needed to make some cuts. The easiest way to save money was for Rachel to come back to work and to let go the two chefs that worked in her place. Casper was the only thing holding them back, he was so withdrawn already.

Eva provided a solution, she finished school at 2pm daily so if Gray could handle lunch, Rachel could hand over the childcare to Eva and then do the busy evening shift. Eva's willingness to help warmed Gray's heart. How different she was from the angry teen who had come back to Mexico with him, she'd even started asking questions about college. She still had mood swings and a habit of landing in trouble, pranks were her specialty, but it seemed that Eva had found her place in Lucky Palms.

At first the scheme went without a hitch. The restaurant slowly turned around as word got out that Rachel was back in the kitchen and Eva tried her best to bring Casper out of his shell. The little boy was having none of it. The second her back was turned or she had to use the bathroom he would abandon whatever activity she'd been trying to engage him with and head off on his own. One time Eva found him moving pieces around on the chessboard. She didn't know the rules so she couldn't tell that somehow he knew the patterns that the knight he was holding was allowed to move by.

Another day she completely freaked out as she had lost him downstairs and the front door had swung open. After a frantic search of the pools and fountains she was about to call her dad when a crash from upstairs sent her running. Casper had managed to open the stair-gate, climb the stairs and get into the spare room where he had pulled a massive encyclopedia off the shelf and was busy turning the pages, it seemed he was looking for something.

Eva was a a little spooked by her brother's intelligence and also by his obsession with his doll which he had named Tia. If Casper had to choose between a real person and Tia, he always chose Tia. Eva wondered if she should tell her parents but they were always so tired that she didn't want to worry them.

Soon Eva too was distracted, finals were getting closer and she desperately wanted to try and get into the state college, though if you asked her she wasn't that bothered. Eva's past really showed at moments like this, when there was a possibility of failure she would tend to give up rather than risk the pain of failure or the fear of people judging her. Gray tried to help her past it but it was the type of thing that only time and confidence would fix.

College wasn't beyond the realms of possibility but Gray knew Eva would need all the help she would get and hired  local golden boy Hayden Steel to help her study. Varsity swim team captain, Yale freshman and Rhodes scholar candidate, Hayden came from one of the best families in town.

When family illness forced him to return home and finish out his freshman year as distance study, Hayden decided to make up for what he was missing by volunteering and working for extra credit, hoping this would give him the edge for the Rhodes scholarship. From their very first session Eva could see how much he wanted to win and to study in England for a year, though she couldn't understand his motivation. Sometimes it seemed he craved the academic distinction but more often it seemed he wanted to get away from his family.

Whatever his motivation, him and Eva got along well and her grades continued to creep towards where they would need to be.

With her sister busy, Lillia had found herself a new hobby. Well new hobbies anyway. The little girl had stormed out of her first ballet class when the teacher had fold her she couldn't wear her skull and crossbones barrette and gone and joined in with the boys soccer practice.

Now she was obsessed with anything sport related. She loved soccer, scoring the most goals in the school girls vs. boys tournament, she ran track, competing in the state competition and narrowly missing the podium. She made the swim team in no time and was soon recognised as a future star in that sport. She was naturally the right shape to swim, incredibly fast and most noticeably a hard worker for her age.

Gray would often come downstairs early on a weekend morning to feed Casper and find Lillia swimming lengths in the pool. Eva had to force her to sit down and finish her homework every night, bribing her with the promise of playing penalty shoot out once the homework was done. Lillia wished that she could just do sports all the time. School was a struggle for her, even working her hardest she barely scraped a B average, but in the pool or on the field there was nobody was she couldn't compete with.

With Lillia in sports clubs so much of the time and Casper refusing to engage with her beyond taking a bottle and dinner time, Eva was glad of Hayden's company. He was so completely different from her friends at school, focused on his future and not afraid of taking chances. As the weeks rolled by they became friends, laughing together when Eva made a stupid mistake and talking about what they would do in the future if everything went to plan.

Hayden encouraged Eva to look further than state college and an easy major and Eva began to wonder if he was right. When he talked about how well she was doing and how fast she understood things she almost believed him. Eva like who Hayden saw her as and even though he was not her type, clean shaven without a tattoo to be seen, she started to wonder if he could ever see her as more than a friend.

Looking on but in his exhaustion only seeing the shiny, positive progress, Gray was thrilled with how far each of his children had come. In the short period he and Rachel had together before they both passed out exhausted they would discuss the changes they saw; Eva's academic improvement, Lillia's sporting success and Casper's intelligence.

What they didn't see was Eva's lack of confidence, Lillia's academic struggle and Casper's inability or refusal to connect with people. Even as their talents flourished in the light of day, so too did their weaknesses take root and begin to alter the courses of their lives.

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Read on with Chapter 17 - Blind Spots

The Monroe Legacy - G.3. Chapter 15 - Hard Choices

Eva's first year in Lucky Palms was something of a battlefield. At first she just ignored everything and everybody. She spent her days calling Milo back in Mexico or working secretively on the computer, at night she would vanish, returning in the small hours with no explanation. 

She barely spoke to Gray and treated Rachel as if she weren't there. Gray tried to strike a balance with his daughter, flexibility and space to let her adjust and discipline to curb her more destructive tendencies.

Eva made a mockery of every nice gesture, especially those which came from her stepmother who tried desperately to connect with the wayward teen. Rachel had arranged for the guest room to be redecorated for Eva, Eva had turned her nose up at the decor, only grudgingly accepting Rachel's slightly strained offer that they redo it together, before shutting her stepmother out again.

Rachel never told Gray that she struggled with Eva, greeting him when he returned from work with smiles, dinner and armfuls of giggling babies but he could tell that all was not well by the tension at the rare dinners they dragged Eva down for. Eva's grades were terrible, she wouldn't socialise  with her cousins or most of the kids at school, spending her days smoking behind the gym with the rebel kids in the years above her. Things went from bad to worse when Rachel confronted Eva having found her in the hot tub with a senior year boy.

'Your father spent almost a decade fighting for you! Looking for you! Praying for your safety and that you would come back to him! I watched it almost destroy him. I saw the look on his face when he thought you were dead. Hate me all you want but don't repay him by throwing your life away!'

A slightly staggered Eva took Rachel at her word and went from largely ignoring her stepmother to actively tormenting her. When Gray found Rachel rocking baby Casper to sleep with traces of blue dye still in her hair he decided enough was enough.

He had tried kindness, he had tried firmness and he had had enough. When Rachel was out with Lillia at Saffron's, Gray sat Eva down and laid it out.

'Eva. Do you want to go back to Mexico?'

Her eyes widened slightly before she could smooth over her features.

'I knew you didn't really want me!' She retorted, 'You only brought me here because you had to!'

Gray's response was quiet but no less vehement than a shout would have been.

'Don't you dare say that again. Losing you all those years ago destroyed me, Rachel finally gave me a reason to start living again but for six years all I thought of was you. Finding you was one of the happiest days of my life and I would do anything, ANYTHING, to make you happy.

But you seem miserable here, and you make the lives of other people I love miserable with your behaviour. I can't let that happen anymore. So I'm asking you to choose.

Do you want to go back to Mexico? I would hate to lose you again, but I would hate even more to have all of our lives, yours included, ruined by my selfish need to have you near me.'

As Gray spoke tears began to trickle down Eva's cheeks, her shoulders heaving with all the tears she hadn't shed when she'd found her mother and sister, the ones she'd kept back every time she'd looked at herself and seen all the flaws that separated her from her father's perfect family.

As much as he wanted to rush and comfort her, Gray was done pushing Eva. Finally she pulled herself together enough to mumble her response.

'I want to stay.'

From that day things got a little easier, it wasn't a fast process but it was progress.

Eva's grades went from a D to a C, she wore a little less eyeliner and spent a little less time in her room. Gray might have missed a lot of firsts, her first day at school and first loose tooth, but he began to appreciate some new firsts, small signs that things might get better.

He smiled the first time Eva willingly joined them for a movie, laughing with them, a noise Gray had barely heard before that night. His heart swelled the day he caught her cuddling Lillia, crooning a little song to her in Spanish. He tried to be nonchalant the day he discovered Eva chopping vegetables for dinner and passing them to a slightly shell- shocked looking Rachel.

When Eva didn't arrive for Casper's first birthday, Gray's heart sank. They'd made so much progress, Lillia adored her big sister, Rachel was happy and comfortable again and Gray had begun to see flashes of the little girl he'd known under the black haired persona of his teenage daughter. Her absence without explanation on a day like today, not only a birthday but the anniversary of their reunion, weighed heavy on his heart.

Eventually they could wait no longer and Rachel lit the candles on the cake. Just as she put out the match the front door flew open and a teenaged whirlwind blew in. Eva's face was completely innocent, only a tiny smirk giving away her pleasure at her dad's surprise.

Gone was the black, her hair restored to its natural blonde, the pink streaks running through it a nod to her old look.

Quickly explaining that the salon had been running late Eva began singing happy birthday, jolting Rachel and Gray into action. As Casper blew out his candles Gray sent up a little prayer. Today was a day of transformation, his son was growing up strong and healthy, his little daughter was confident and sweet-natured and his eldest daughter had finally started to come back to him.

After the presents were opened and the cake cut, Eva offered to put Lillia to bed while adults sorted Casper and tidied up. After putting on the dishwasher Gray crept upstairs and watched from the hall as Eva read her baby sister to sleep, softly petting Lillia's hair as she nodded off.

As Eva crept out of the room, Gray couldn't help pulling her to him for a hug. She tensed but then relaxed, the bottom of his chin just hitting the top of her head. He could believe she was letting him hold her.

 Pulling away with a slightly shy smile Eva said,

'Gee, You really are a soppy mess sometimes.'

Gray cleared his throat and tried to retain his composure.

'Ah... Yep. I guess so. I just always get emotional on birthdays. I like the hair by the way.'

Eva gave another of her knowing grins,

'I knew you didn't like the black. You didn't have to say so. I just decided it was time to try out being Eva Monroe properly and send Maia Garcia back to Mexico where she belongs.

Anyway, I'm gonna go Skype Milo. G'night dad.'

As Eva scampered to her room, letting the door bang shut Gray felt Rachel's arms encircle him from behind. She had heard the whole thing.

'She called you dad' she whispered.

Gray didn't have to say anything, Rachel could feel his chest shaking with gentle sobs.

It was all going to be alright.

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Read Chapter 16 - Mind, Matter and Maverick