The Monroe Legacy - Generation 3 Finale - Last Orders

As Lillia's  16th birthday approached, Gray wondered if maybe he had announced his decision too soon and put too much pressure on his young daughter. It had been almost a five years since he had chosen, aware that for Eva, adult life had already begun and wanting to grant her the freedom she deserved but rather than giving Lillia purpose, the legacy seemed to weigh heavily on her mind. He'd seen her sit staring at the increasingly battered legacy journal for hours, a strange look on her face and he wondered if Lillia might be having second thoughts, though she always denied it when asked.

Gray had thought that his decision would give her confidence in her teenage years, should she ever want to stand apart from her friends. Maybe it had, but Lillia had never wavered in her social allegiances, she was as close to Daisy and Rose as she had ever been and the three of them ruled the school. Gray and Rachel had kept their eyes peeled for any sign that the Flowers were more mean girls than dream girls but so far they just seemed like the average popular kids, they had their moments, but so did most kids.

Flynn was certainly king of such moments. The fit he threw his first day at nursery would, Eva said, never be outdone as the most simultaneously hilarious and traumatic experience of her life. It was said that the screaming could be heard a block away.

For all his tantrums, Flynn was a good kid and Eva had done a wonderful job so far, he was definitely a momma's boy but she was firm with him and Gray was so proud of his daughter. He was ecstatic that she would soon be home for good, having just completed her final year at Brown and she had graduated magna cum laude, in front of her thrilled family and a beaming Hayden.

Eva had finally given Hayden the answer he wanted the day she had recieved her acceptance letter for Brown, they married a few months later at home with just family as witnesses and spent a Honeymoon weekend flat hunting around the Brown campus.

The day they moved away Gray had been a mess, he'd planned out a sort of speech and a big farewell, something about how proud he was and that the sadness of her leaving would be made sweeter by the knowledge that she was chasing her dream. But when the moment came that all flew out of the window and they just sobbed and hugged and cried. 

Now they were coming back, Hayden had busted his ass working whilst Eva had been at college and they had enough for the deposit on a tiny house on a new development. With Flynn about to start school, Eva was due to start working at the local science facility and Hayden's hard work had guaranteed him a transfer to his company's office in town. Gray was thrilled, it would be wonderful to have them close and to get to know his grandson properly now he was a big boy, holiday visits just weren't enough.

Lillia was excited to see Eva too, especially now she knew her sister wouldn't want her room back! Casper was warier, not about Eva and certainly not to see Hayden, he'd missed his chess nemesis, but to be around Flynn, who he mainly remembered as a screaming and disruptive baby.

It wasn't the baby's fault, Casper knew that, but if his nephew was still very loud it was bad timing, Casper had been accepted into an elite summer science programme at MIT and he had a lot of studying to do if he was going to blow them away. In the years since they'd moved away Casper had grown from a studious little boy into a studious young man, his academics beyond reproach, he even participated in the odd group study, though most social gatherings still sent him running to his chemistry set and Tia.

Fortunately the reunion went well, Rachel cried a little, Gray grinned constantly and Flynn rather overawed by all the people who turned up - half the extended family were there to welcome Eva home - was very well behaved and quiet. Casper have Eva a quick hug before making a chess plan with Hayden and then retreated to his room. His family were nice he supposed but there were ever such a lot of them! 

A few weeks later Lillia found herself the sole inhabitant of the Monroe residence. Her parents having flown across to Yale to get Casper settled, the house was strangely still. At first That was exciting, Lillia thought to herself that this was how it would be once she was in charge of the house.  Then it was too quiet, the silence expectant and oppressive and she did what she always did when she was unsure, she called in her friends. Fortunately it was too late for Rose and Daisy to organised a  party so they settled for raiding the wine rack and getting rather tipsy whilst watching movies.

After a while the conversation turned to boys, as it always did, Rose giggling over a new senior who had transferred and Daisy swooning over Rose's brother Axel, much to her disgust. As usual , Lillia was the quiet one, it wasn't that she wasn't interested, she just hadn't really seen anyone of her type in a while. Usually her friends just let it go, but the wine spurred them on.

'C'mon Lil! There must be somebody you like.' Rose whinged, 'All the guys in our year are panting after the "mysterious" Lillia Monroe, but you're always single!'

Daisy looked sideways at her, a slightly unpleasant smile crossing her face. Lillia stiffened, she knew that look.

'I know who Lil likes'  she snickered. Rose whipped round, eyes wide.

'No! Who?!' She was shocked.

So was Lillia, 'Oh really?!' She teased, 'who is my prince charming! waiting in the wings then? I'd love to meet him!'

'Jeremy Gilbert, your geeky lab partner. I've seen you get all hot and bothered taking to him.'

Lillia flushed red, 'I do not have a thing for Jeremy. We're just friends.' She insisted.

Rose shrugged, 'But you have enough friends. Better friends. You don't need losers hanging around you.'

Lillia tried to stay calm, 'Which is why Jeremy is my lab partner and not at this sleepover. You guys know I need a good partner to pass that class.'

The ping of the microwave diffused the tension in the room and Lillia went to get the popcorn. She took the trash outside to cool off and once she was alone she took a deep calming breath. What had just happened was exactly why she would never tell anyone, anyone at all, about her crush on Jeremy Gilbert.

When Gray and Rachel returned, tired and having left Casper halfway across the country to take care of himself, a challenge they believed he was ready for but that scared them nonetheless, it felt as if an era was drawing to an end.

Gray felt older somehow, as if he had had just enough energy to keep him going for as long as he was needed desperately. He'd long ago lost count of the grey-white hairs on his head and had been amused by the saga of Rachel's attempts to find an anti-wrinkle cream that worked. Age had crept up on them quietly, kept away only by the tireless energy that they'd expended to try and keep everything together.

Now Eva was off with a family of her own, a home, a son and a husband, not to mention a degree and a career. Gray couldn't even see the angry teenager he'd once known in her any more, the glowing young woman she'd become was a testament only to her own strength of character and the chance to start again.

Lillia was almost grown, she seemed happy and confident, she had her sports and her friends and her academic were good enough not to hold her back. Gray only wished he had taken more time to treasure her childhood years, caught between her siblings she'd grown up too fast and that was something he'd never be able to take back.

And Casper, for all the nights of sleep that Gray and Rachel had lost over him, he was doing so well. It seemed like he too barely needed them. His schooling was so advanced that they could barely follow it, he functioned with hardly a thing to distinguish him from his siblings. The only time when the Aspergers really affected things was when he was surprised by or under-prepared for a social situation. Gone were the days where his temper flared at the slightest misunderstanding, he was learning to cope with the world and with the people in it and that was his parents dearest wish for him.

Gray hoped that maybe one day Casper would find what he had with Rachel with another person, that his son would want that for himself, but for now it was more than enough to see his son becoming independent, even if that meant he didn't need Gray so much.

Yes, it was the end of an era.

Looking across to where Rachel sat engrossed in a recipe book muttering ingredients to herself! Gray smiled. It was twenty years since they'd first sat together like this, their dreams very different from what they were now. Those two decades felt like a whirlwind, a constant fight to do what was best for their family and Gray couldn't imagine a better partner to have seen him through it than Rachel had been.

Perhaps now was their chance to go back after those dreams they'd shared that had fallen by the wayside, the dreams which had been hung up and used to pad their children's way in the world. Their hair might be greyer and their joints a little stiffer but there was time yet, this time was theirs. It was time to let Lillia chronicle their history and make her own successes and mistakes, time for Gray to step back and support his children rather than pushing them along.

Crossing the room Gray joined Rachel on the sofa, tapping the page of her book until he had her attention.

'Rachel, I think it's time to have another try at opening up that restaurant we always dreamed of.'      

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Generation Four has now begun. Read Chapter 1 - Holding Court now!

The Monroe Legacy - G.3. Chapter 15 - Hard Choices

Eva's first year in Lucky Palms was something of a battlefield. At first she just ignored everything and everybody. She spent her days calling Milo back in Mexico or working secretively on the computer, at night she would vanish, returning in the small hours with no explanation. 

She barely spoke to Gray and treated Rachel as if she weren't there. Gray tried to strike a balance with his daughter, flexibility and space to let her adjust and discipline to curb her more destructive tendencies.

Eva made a mockery of every nice gesture, especially those which came from her stepmother who tried desperately to connect with the wayward teen. Rachel had arranged for the guest room to be redecorated for Eva, Eva had turned her nose up at the decor, only grudgingly accepting Rachel's slightly strained offer that they redo it together, before shutting her stepmother out again.

Rachel never told Gray that she struggled with Eva, greeting him when he returned from work with smiles, dinner and armfuls of giggling babies but he could tell that all was not well by the tension at the rare dinners they dragged Eva down for. Eva's grades were terrible, she wouldn't socialise  with her cousins or most of the kids at school, spending her days smoking behind the gym with the rebel kids in the years above her. Things went from bad to worse when Rachel confronted Eva having found her in the hot tub with a senior year boy.

'Your father spent almost a decade fighting for you! Looking for you! Praying for your safety and that you would come back to him! I watched it almost destroy him. I saw the look on his face when he thought you were dead. Hate me all you want but don't repay him by throwing your life away!'

A slightly staggered Eva took Rachel at her word and went from largely ignoring her stepmother to actively tormenting her. When Gray found Rachel rocking baby Casper to sleep with traces of blue dye still in her hair he decided enough was enough.

He had tried kindness, he had tried firmness and he had had enough. When Rachel was out with Lillia at Saffron's, Gray sat Eva down and laid it out.

'Eva. Do you want to go back to Mexico?'

Her eyes widened slightly before she could smooth over her features.

'I knew you didn't really want me!' She retorted, 'You only brought me here because you had to!'

Gray's response was quiet but no less vehement than a shout would have been.

'Don't you dare say that again. Losing you all those years ago destroyed me, Rachel finally gave me a reason to start living again but for six years all I thought of was you. Finding you was one of the happiest days of my life and I would do anything, ANYTHING, to make you happy.

But you seem miserable here, and you make the lives of other people I love miserable with your behaviour. I can't let that happen anymore. So I'm asking you to choose.

Do you want to go back to Mexico? I would hate to lose you again, but I would hate even more to have all of our lives, yours included, ruined by my selfish need to have you near me.'

As Gray spoke tears began to trickle down Eva's cheeks, her shoulders heaving with all the tears she hadn't shed when she'd found her mother and sister, the ones she'd kept back every time she'd looked at herself and seen all the flaws that separated her from her father's perfect family.

As much as he wanted to rush and comfort her, Gray was done pushing Eva. Finally she pulled herself together enough to mumble her response.

'I want to stay.'

From that day things got a little easier, it wasn't a fast process but it was progress.

Eva's grades went from a D to a C, she wore a little less eyeliner and spent a little less time in her room. Gray might have missed a lot of firsts, her first day at school and first loose tooth, but he began to appreciate some new firsts, small signs that things might get better.

He smiled the first time Eva willingly joined them for a movie, laughing with them, a noise Gray had barely heard before that night. His heart swelled the day he caught her cuddling Lillia, crooning a little song to her in Spanish. He tried to be nonchalant the day he discovered Eva chopping vegetables for dinner and passing them to a slightly shell- shocked looking Rachel.

When Eva didn't arrive for Casper's first birthday, Gray's heart sank. They'd made so much progress, Lillia adored her big sister, Rachel was happy and comfortable again and Gray had begun to see flashes of the little girl he'd known under the black haired persona of his teenage daughter. Her absence without explanation on a day like today, not only a birthday but the anniversary of their reunion, weighed heavy on his heart.

Eventually they could wait no longer and Rachel lit the candles on the cake. Just as she put out the match the front door flew open and a teenaged whirlwind blew in. Eva's face was completely innocent, only a tiny smirk giving away her pleasure at her dad's surprise.

Gone was the black, her hair restored to its natural blonde, the pink streaks running through it a nod to her old look.

Quickly explaining that the salon had been running late Eva began singing happy birthday, jolting Rachel and Gray into action. As Casper blew out his candles Gray sent up a little prayer. Today was a day of transformation, his son was growing up strong and healthy, his little daughter was confident and sweet-natured and his eldest daughter had finally started to come back to him.

After the presents were opened and the cake cut, Eva offered to put Lillia to bed while adults sorted Casper and tidied up. After putting on the dishwasher Gray crept upstairs and watched from the hall as Eva read her baby sister to sleep, softly petting Lillia's hair as she nodded off.

As Eva crept out of the room, Gray couldn't help pulling her to him for a hug. She tensed but then relaxed, the bottom of his chin just hitting the top of her head. He could believe she was letting him hold her.

 Pulling away with a slightly shy smile Eva said,

'Gee, You really are a soppy mess sometimes.'

Gray cleared his throat and tried to retain his composure.

'Ah... Yep. I guess so. I just always get emotional on birthdays. I like the hair by the way.'

Eva gave another of her knowing grins,

'I knew you didn't like the black. You didn't have to say so. I just decided it was time to try out being Eva Monroe properly and send Maia Garcia back to Mexico where she belongs.

Anyway, I'm gonna go Skype Milo. G'night dad.'

As Eva scampered to her room, letting the door bang shut Gray felt Rachel's arms encircle him from behind. She had heard the whole thing.

'She called you dad' she whispered.

Gray didn't have to say anything, Rachel could feel his chest shaking with gentle sobs.

It was all going to be alright.

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Read Chapter 16 - Mind, Matter and Maverick

The Monroe Legacy - G.3 Chapter 13 - Degrees of Separation

'That can't be my daughter' Gray burst out.

The mortuary assistant looked at him sympathetically, 'I know it's hard to accept Sir.' But Gray interrupted him.

'No! I mean that that is not my daughter. I haven't seen Eva in almost eleven years but that girl isn't her.'

The cops and the lab techs exchanges confused glances.

'Are you sure sir? The neighbours seemed pretty certain that this was the lady's daughter.'

'I'm positive. This girl looks younger, but more importantly she's got a darker skin tone and black hair. Eva was blonder and fairer skinned. Did the neighbour say if there was more than one daughter or did you just assume that when you saw my missing person's file and it fit neatly?'

Even as he scolded the policeman for the fear he'd endured on the flight, a huge grin was beginning to spread across Gray's face. He barely saw the dead girl in front of him or Aisha's shrouded form. Eva might be alive!

'Could the hair have been dyed?' The policeman asked the lab tech.

'No, the notes say it's natural. Without a full post mortem it's more difficult to accurately estimate age and ethnicity, a DNA comparison could at least rule out this girl as Maia Garcia.'

'Eva Monroe' Gray interrupted. 'Her name is Eva Monroe and I'm going to find her.'

Hours later a DNA comparison confirmed what Gray had already known and a lot of paperwork was signed. A few simoleons persuaded a desk jockey to tell Gray where the crime scene had been and in minutes Gray was in a taxi and headed to Aisha's last known address.

The area was crappy but not desperately poor. Dust and litter blew between sad square little houses and dogs barked from chain fenced backyards. The only sign of violence from the outside was the police tape that Gray quietly removed from the door. Putting his shoulder to the cheap wood he felt the latch give and he was inside.

The Aisha he'd known would never have let anything but desperation force her to live somewhere like this. There was a small bedroom with a double bed, a poorly fitted bathroom and a few counters which passed as a kitchen area. All of these rooms were torn apart, bullet holes and a large stain marking the bedroom as the place where it had all ended. While there was no sign of Eva there was also a little girl's room, largely untouched, and here some effort had been taken to make the place a little brighter. On the wall was a picture of Aisha and the girl who'd lain on the table next to her.

Gray felt a lump form in his throat for that stolen life. Earlier he had been so happy it wasn't his daughter but now he couldn't get away from the horrid contrast of the bright smiles in the picture and the cold faces in the morgue. Rushing outside he emptied the contents of his stomach, water and trail mix, onto the dusty drive.

'What do you want with that place' a harsh whisper echoed from the house opposite and though nobody appeared, Gray saw a curtain twitch at the window facing him.

'I'm looking for a young girl, have you seen anyone else around.'

After a pause the voice came back, 'There's no girl there any more, her mama and her are gone where there's no returning, God rest their souls'.

Gray nodded, 'I know. I'm looking for another girl. A slightly older girl. Blonde.'

For several minutes the voice was silent and losing hope, Gray made to leave.

The voice returned. Quieter than before. 

'I haven't seen any blondes. But there was another girl. I saw her with Carmen sometimes when Antonia was working nights. She always left as soon as Antonia got back, went in the direction of uptown. Black hair, coloured ends.'

Gray waited, desperate for more information, but the voice was done and the curtain stilled. Gray called a quiet thank you and pulling the door shut he made his way uptown. He had no idea how long he walked for, asking anyone he passed of they'd seen anything. Most just ignored him, a few shook their heads and fewer still actually spoke to him, this was not an area where talking to strangers was a safe activity. As the sun began to rise he stopped, exhausted and checked in to the nearest hotel, a grey, peeling affair which smelt of must and sweat. Collapsing on the bed he fell in to a deep but restless sleep, dreaming of morgues and faceless teenagers.

He was woken by his phone ringing, the battery indicator flashing red even as he answered. A panting Rachel told him that the baby was coming more than a month early and that Saffron was taking her to the hospital. Over the crackling of the signal and her heavy breathing Gray tried to comfort her forgetting for a while everything he'd discovered before his phone cut out.

Pausing only to settle the bill he rushed out and found an Internet cafe, cursing himself leaving the police station without his luggage and his charger. Once again he had allowed his obsession with finding his eldest daughter to jeopardise everything else he valued.

The browser eventually loaded and Skype brought him crackly picture of Saffron who turned the phone to Rachel, she gave him a weak smile. Gray#s guilt intensified at her pale, worried face.

'Rachel, I'm so sorry I didn't call. I'm so sorry you're doing this alone, what do the doctors say?'

Gritting her teeth whenever a contraction hit Rachel managed, as always, to reason him out of his panic. 'Don't be silly Gray, we couldn't have guessed this would happen. I'm more worried about you, doctors think the baby will be fine, just little. What's happening there?

How was the... Was it- was it them?'

Even as his wife struggled to breathe through her contractions, clutching his sister's hand it was him she was worried about. Gray couldn't believe that after all his mistakes with Aisha life had granted him the love of somebody like Rachel.

Wishing more than ever to be by her side  Gray pressed his finger to her cheek on the screen.

'It wasn't Eva, Aisha is gone but Eva might still be out there. Don't think on it though, I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you so much.'

Rachel's smile at the good news was cut off by a cry of pain as another contraction hit, followed by a kerfuffle as the doctor came to check her and announced she was fully dilated. Saffron tried to follow as they pushed Rachel out and towards the delivery suite, the already blurry picture becoming illegible.

The forty minutes that followed were among the hardest of Gray's life. Saffron tried to tell him what was happening whilst helping Rachel, every scream torturing Gray with his absence. After a particularly harrowing yell the proprietor of the otherwise empty Internet cafe put a glass of rum by Gray's computer with a sympathetic look.

Casper Jude Monroe arrived shortly afterwards, his prematurity may have made him little but it certainly hadn't made him quiet. Gray watched the nurses hand the tiny, screaming bundle to Rachel to kiss before whisking their son off to be checked in the NCU. As Rachel began to doze Saffron kept him updated, Casper would be fine but would need to stay in the hospital until he was a little bigger than his current four pounds.

Gray signed off, booked a flight home and stepped outside, wondering how to get to back to the station it get his passport. As he emerged into the bright sunlight he almost ran in to a couple of teenagers who were loitering outside the door, barely acknowledging the odd stare one of them gave him.

As he looked around for a cab, something was niggling at his mind. He had missed so ruby, but what. He turned back to look at the cafe and the teenagers and it clicked.

The eyes of the girl who had looked at him so oddly, they were a clear bright green. They were eyes he had dreamed of for over a decade. And the hair was black, black with purple ends.

Starting towards them with a strangled yell of, 'EVA?!' his progress was blocked by the young man who had been with her.

'Who are you and who told you to call her that? Her name is Maia.' The teenager was surprisingly strong in his resistance to Gray's pushing.

With his eyes fixed on the girl sat stock still in the shadowy entrance, Gray responded.

'I'm Eva's dad, I've been looking for her!' Gray cried desperately, 'Eva it's me! Do you remember at all. Aisha must have told you something. Eva!'

As Gray's pushing gradually closed the gap between him and the girl he was sure was Eva, the proprietor of the cafe came out, responding to the ruckus in his yard with a gun. As Gray stepped back and raised his hands the boy stepped behind him and pulled Eva protectively close.

Speaking calmly but still aiming the gun the owner asked the pair,

'What's going on here? Milo, do you know this man?'

Milo shook his head,

'He says that he's Maia's father, and he knows her real name.'

The proprietor's eyes widened and he lowered his weapon.

'Milo, take Maia inside and close up the place. I'm going to get to the bottom of this.'

Before Milo could comply, Maia, Eva, whatever her name was, stepped out from his shadow and into the light. She was more beautiful than he'd imagined, her skin smooth and golden and her features a combination of his and her mother. Her hair was dyed black, blonde roots beginning to show through and she was dressed all in black and wearing heavy make-up. She looked so grown up but Gray could see hints of the little girl he'd read to sleep in her face.

She stared at Gray, her expression unreadable, hope, fear and anger seemed to chase through those unmistakeable eyes.

In a voice so different from those remembered baby words, a woman's voice with a definite Latina twang she spoke for the first time.

'I remember you.'

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Read on with Chapter 14 - Home Truths

The Monroe Legacy - G.3 Chapter Nine - All Change

Andrew Cai Monroe was born at Lucky a Palms a General hospital with both parents and his Uncle Gray in attendance. He brought noise and chaos to the house which had long been absent and Grey found that the days were beginning to pass happily. He missed Eva desperately and spent every Sunday catching up with the search and helping wherever he could, but the rest of the week he tried to focus on the present and the possibility of a future.

His new-found positivity had also brought back the pleasure of working, the kitchen team once again becoming like a second family to him. He was on first name terms with his boss and the two were firm friends, staying late to perfect recipes and moan about the restaurant's owner. As he got closer to Rachel, Gray began to wonder about what she had said to him about his life not being the only one that had been destroyed. As much as time as they spent together she never asked him about his last or offered any information about her own.

When, shortly after Andrew's first birthday, Saffron announced that she and Leyton had found a house they wanted to buy, Gray handled it better that he had thought he would. While he would miss them, their new place was only a five minute walk away and it would give him a chance to put in place something he'd been planning for a while.

Andrew Cai Monroe

Gray loved his parents' home, but it was riddled with ghosts and memories. Every corner held a reminder of Eva, of Hallie or of Cai. Gray decided that the time had come to let go of the bad memories and remember the good whilst making some new ones.

Gray moved out the same day Saffron and her family did, pausing only to rest his palm on the weathered front door. He was ready to move on, to strip away the old and to find a way forward.

He stayed with Rachel while the rebuild was underway, neither Violet or Saffron had the space or the flexibility to deal with his work hours and young children. Rachel's guesthouse was nicely furnished and she even let Gray pay a little rent so he wouldn't feel he was intruding. Her home was pleasant but kind of impersonal and being there made Gray wonder even more about Rachel's past, she was so to the point about most things but her life before Lucky Palms was a firmly closed book.

The two months passed uneventfully, outside of work Gray still preferred his own company but occasionally him and Rachel would share a meal and spend the evening talking or reading together. It was comfortable.

The last night before Gray would move home and take a week in Rachel knocked on his door with a strange look on her face. Far from her usual collected self she seemed nervous.

 

'Gray, my car won't start, could you give me a lift somewhere.'

Gray happily agreed and they were soon on the road. Rachel had given directions to a park near to City Hall but no indication of why she was going. Gray wondered absently if she had a date, she certainly had the jitters, fidgeting with her hair and clearing her throat.

As they approached their destination Gray saw groups of people with picket signs gathering at the park and caught Rachel's arms as she went to rush out of the car?

'Do you want me to wait while you..... Protest?' He asked, genuinely surprised by their destination.

Rachel was flustered. 'Oh... Um. Up to you. I mean I can probably find someone headed our way. You decide.'

 Seeing her so out of sorts made up Gray's mind and he turned off the engine and pulled out a book.

'I'll be here' he said.

Rachel nodded and rushed away.

After twenty minutes Gray's curiosity got the best of him and he pulled on a coat and melted into the crowd. The protesters seemed mainly female and from what he could see in the banners they were protesting the time limit for having an abortion, posters proclaiming that babies were viable beyond the time that termination was legal. Gray had never really considered it before, shuddering at the thought of it. He was about to return to his car when a familiar voice cut through the hubbub.

Rachel stepped up to a podium and introduced herself as the crowd cheered. Her nerves gone she began to tell a story. It didn't take long for Gray to realise she was talking about herself, the emotion cracking her voice even as she worked up the crowd, laying bare her past out for everyone in attendance to judge.

She had married young, to spite her parents and soon afterwards had found herself pregnant. Her husband hated kids and begged her to terminate the pregnancy, but she wasn't sure, she waited until the last moment, hoping he would change his mind or that she would feel right doing it. When he threatened to leave if she went on with the pregnancy she finally agreed to an abortion.

She caught sight of the foetus before they could take it away and what she had seen had shattered her belief that she had done the right thing. It had shattered her. At twenty one weeks her baby had had a face, it had had fingers and it had been sucking it's thumb, it could have survived if it had been born. Her daughter would have been five now. Rachel wasn't pushing to remove peoples right to choose, just to shorten the deadline, if a child could survive alone the what right did she, or anyone else, have to end it's life.

As the crowd cheered and waved their banners, Rachel stepped down, her shoulders sagged and she was visibly drained and as she did so she caught sight of Gray standing there. She looked away, avoiding his gaze.

Gray went over and touched her arm, forcing her to engage.

'I suppose you think I'm a terrible person now.' Rachel said bitterly, 'to allow a douchebag husband to take away my child with hardly a fight, that's why I never told you.'

Gray was shocked, it hadn't even occurred to him that she might have come to that conclusion.

'Rachel no! I think what you just did was incredibly brave. You just put your own dirty laundry, your pain in the spotlight to help other people make better choices. To try and make the government prevent other people from having to go through what you've gone through.

You could have told me. Maybe not at first, I was too caught up in myself. But recently, I would have understood. If anyone can understand that kind of loss it's me.'

With that he scooped her into a hug, feeling some of the tension leave her as he stroked her hair.

Rachel's confession had changed something for Gray. The passion with which she had fought to be heard, her honesty and her resolve to make things right, those were things that Gray needed in his life.

As Rachel pulled out of the hug, wiping her eyes Gray did something impulsive. Something neither of them had imagined happening.

He kissed her.

For a second everything was still and perfect.

But then Rachel jerked back, her face shocked and her guard firmly back up.

'What the hell Gray?! I told you my story, I didn't drop my pants. Why would you think it was okay to kiss me?!'

Gray flushed red. He had no idea why he'd done that. Raking his hands through his hair he stuttered and apology

'I'm... I'm so sorry. I think - I just don't know. God Rachel, I don't want to ruin our friendship. Can we pretend I didn't just do that'

And with that he rushed back to the car, desperate to get away. He was halfway home before he realised that Rachel didn't have a lift.

When he got back to the guesthouse he packed his suitcases in the car and drive to Saffron's. He could do one night in the couch and then move in the morning. Gray slept poorly, trying to convince himself that it was because the couch was lumpy rather than because he was trying to make sense of the evenings happenings.

The cold light of day didn't she'd any light on the situation. The more Gray thought about it the more he wished he hadn't kissed Rachel. Not because it might damage their friendship but more because now he thought of it, and he couldn't believe he hadn't before, he thought that he might like to kiss her more regularly.

She was one of his best friends, they shared a love of cooking and a sense of humour, she wasn't afraid to put him in his place or argue with him, she wasn't scared of his past. Rachel was everything Aisha hadn't been, confident, open and caring, and now he might have blown his shit before he even realised he wanted one.

Gray was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice they'd arrived at the house until the driver opened the cab door and asked if he was okay. Stepping out he surveyed his new home.

He had seen drawings but it was better than he had hoped. Clean minimalists lines and bold colours were a much better match for the Lucky Palms scenery. It was smaller, with just him he didn't need bug empty rooms to remind him of who he was missing, and the kitchen was bespoke and top of the range.

Gray was thrilled, it was the perfect space to try and build a new life for himself, he only wished that he was as clear in what he wanted from that life as he had been 24 hours ago.

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Find out what happens next in Chapter 10 - Holding On To You