The Monroe Legacy - G.4. Chapter 9 - No More Hiding

Once the snow melted it was easy to forget it had happened, within a week all signs that it had ever been were gone and life moved on as normal. Lillia half-hoped that her encounter with Noki had just been the result of the winter madness but she soon started seeing him around campus and knew that it wasn't the case. 

Somehow it was a month before Rose realised he was there, perhaps he had started out in another social circle to them but soon enough, after a big football game which ASU won in style, he appeared at their house for the victory party. Eyes skating across Lillia without pause he focused on Rose whose jaw had dropped and face had blanched even as she hung round the neck of her latest jock boyfriend. He strode across and said something quietly to the pair before leading Rose off to a nearby bedroom and closing the door behind them.

Lillia was staggered, even for Rose that was slutty and even for Noki that was fast! She tried not to watch the door for their reappearance wishing for once that she was drunk and could just put it aside and party. Ever since the start of the year she'd been successfully avoiding the shoddy choices that alcohol seemed to inspire her to make but right now a warm flat beer and a night of frivolity seemed pretty appealing.

A few minutes later Rose and Noki emerged, neither of them bearing any signs of a passionate moment, in fact they seemed... almost.... friendly?

As her cousin made her way over Lillia tried to play it cool, not sure what might have been said or how much she was supposed to know about his presence on campus.

'So Anoki transferred to ASU', Rose began, her nonchalant tone confirming that he hadn't given Lillia away.

Lillia shrugged, 'Oh really? It seems like kind of a random move. Does that mean he wants you back?'

It was Rose's turn to shrug, 'I think we're both in a different place now, I actually really like Mugsy,' she gestured over at the guy waiting for her patiently but a little worriedly. 'Besides I don't think he wants me back either, he just wanted to apologise for the way he handled the thing between us. I was pretty surprised to be honest but he said he'd met someone who made him see things differently and he knew he needed to make things right with us. Whatever I guess! I wonder who this mystery person is though, I never thought Noki was capable of being anything less than totally self-centred!'

With this Rose excused herself and made her way over to Mugsy. As she laced her arms around his waist Lillia saw relief etched on all of his features, despite all the drama this guy cared a lot for her cousin and as much as she wanted to be happy for her, Lillia was jealous.

She skirted the edges of the party, resisting the urge to drown her sorrows and dwelling on Rose's words. She was impressed that Noki had apologised, relieved that he hadn't given her secret away and curious as to who it was that had inspired him to try to change. A little voice in Lillia's head wondered if it might of been her but she ignored it, it was impossible. Their little encounter would barely have registered in the midst of his string of conquests and they were too alike to learn from each other. Besides she didn't care what he did or didn't think anymore. Right?

The night wore on and Rose and Mugsy were glued together on the dancefloor as Lillia sipped her soda only to spit it out at the sight of Daisy, dressed in her sluttiest dress whispering something in a smirking Noki's ear with her eyes fixed triumphantly on Lillia. Enough was enough and Lillia turned without reacting and retreated to her bedroom, she knew how that situation ended and she didn't need to see it happen.

The next day at breakfast Lillia wasn't surprised when Daisy came and sat beside her, the girl never missed an opportunity to revel in the discomfort of others.

'Quite a party last night right?' She giggled.

Lillia shrugged, 'I guess. I was kinda tired to be honest, off in my own world.'

 Daisy looked disappointed for a moment before finding another path of attack, 'That's a shame, there were some absolute babes there, my world sure got rocked!'

'Lucky you,' Lillia's tone was flat and disinterested as she stared fixedly at her plate.

But Daisy was never one to let it go! 'Yeah, Anoki sure is a stud, but then I don't need to tell you guys that do I!'

Lillia was determined not to react but couldn't stop the blush from spreading across her cheeks. Sensing victory Daisy took a breath to deliver a killing blow when the scrape of a chair caused her to pause and another player entered the ring.

'I don't know what you'd know about my talents Daisy!' Noki's drawl had a hard edge to it and it was Daisy's turn to blush. 'Bitchy isn't exactly my type as I told you on the dance floor last night.'

Daisy looked as if she'd been hit, opening and shutting her mouth she looked about the table for someone to come to her aid and when she saw only people trying not to laugh at her she pushed her chair back and rushed out of the room.

'That was mean', Lillia muttered trying to keep the glee she felt at Daisy finally getting a taste of her own poisonous medicine off her face.

'Daisy's mean!' was Noki's only response, 'besides I wouldn't want anyone here thinking that I spent the night anywhere other than on your ridiculously uncomfortable sofa.  I think whoever deigned that thing was a masochist.'

As the atmosphere in the dining room settled back down to the usual post-party banter Lillia couldn't help glancing across at Noki from under her eyelashes. Perhaps she was imagining things but she could have sworn that he'd looked right at her when he'd said "anyone here". It sounded almost like he wanted her to know the truth.

But that was the kind of wishful thinking that would get her in trouble, the kind she had sworn to leave behind her. As soon as she was finish she'd with her waffles Lillia retreated out of the danger zone and up to the safe space that was her room but even her little sanctuary seemed too risky with Noki in the house. Grabbing her purse Lillia rushed out for a walk to clear her head.

Lost in her own thoughts she paid no attention to where she was going, just remembering to put one foot in front of another was as much as she could do. Her head was filled with unanswered questions, what might Daisy do to get back at them after they'd embarrassed her? That small victory at breakfast was sure to cost them dearly once she'd recovered from the embarrassment. Might now be the right time to tell Rose, if she was happy with Mugsy that could soften the blow? Would she even get the chance if Daisy decided to make good on her threat?

It felt as if the last few months of buried worries had all been building up to this moment and Lillia was beginning to realise that she might have left it too late to fix things. She'd been telling herself that she was different to before, that she had changed for the better but she hadn't actually made anything right. If she had been honest then Daisy wouldn't have any ammunition, perhaps she would have lost Rose but it could have been decided between the two of them. Even Noki had had the balls to apologise for his mistakes, while she'd just tried to pretend they were over with.

The more she thought of it the clearer it was. Those miserable few months had not really been about being a better person, Lillia had just been punishing herself as if somehow that would wipe the slate clean. But it hadn't made her feel any better because she hadn't sucked out the poisonous secret at the root of it all, she'd held on to the lie and the betrayal, concealing it behind a falsely sweet demeanour and hating herself for it. Lillia might have changed but not for the better, now instead of hurting others she was just lying to them and hurting herself.

It had to stop.

Pulling out her phone she fired off a text to Rose, asking if they could talk alone that evening and as she pressed send she felt light with relief that it would soon be over.

Glancing around to see where her aimless wander had landed her she saw yellow up ahead and realised she'd was in the road where Noki lived. The drive was empty but as she turned to go home she heard an engine approaching. Ignoring her instinct to duck into the bushes in case it was Noki she continued to walk steadily into the blinding lights of the oncoming car. She was done with hiding from her demons.

The car slowed beside her and Noki wound down his window, his brows tight with confusion.

'Lillia? How'd you get all the way over here?'

Lillia shrugged, 'I walked, I needed some air.'

Noki turned off the engine and nodded, getting out of the car.

'I know that feeling. Look I know I'm not your favourite person but I'd really like to talk to you. I looked for you after breakfast but you'd gone. I'm not going to try anything, I just... Well I'd just like to sort things out between us so we can maybe be friends. I don't know if you remember but before that night we used to have fun talking? I'd like that back.'

The mix of emotions in his voice echoed those which had been swirling in Lillia's head just minutes before. There was hope, hesitation and an edge of desperation. Perhaps she wasn't the only one trying to figure things out.

For an answer Lillia waked around and got in the passenger seat.

'I think a conversation is long overdue.'

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Read on now with Chapter 10 - Shame, Blame and Change

The Monroe Legacy - G.4. Chapter 3 - Broken Reflections

Lillia awoke coughing, a terrifying tightness in her throat and her limbs leaden. She knew she had seconds to survive so she kicked, her legs feeling as if they were kicking through treacle as tears began to stream down her cheeks.

Then there were hands holding her down, hands and voices and beeping and whiteness.

She drifted off again.

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Next time she came to she was calmer, the beeping was still there and the whiteness but shapes began to emerge from the edges of the blur. Lillia knew she wasn't underwater anymore, her throat was clear but painful and there was a soft pressure on her hand.

She couldn't turn her head but managed to flutter her fingers and the hand in hers jolted as Jeremy Gilbert swam into view.

'She's awake', he screamed. 'Mr Monroe, Mrs Monroe?'

Her parents came rushing into the room, disheveled but grinning, Rachel with tears streaming down her face as Gray kissed Lillia's forehead and stroked her hair.

The next hour was a blur of questions and lights being shone in her eyes. Lillia answered yes, she knew her name, yes she could wiggle her toes and no she wasn't hungry. The doctors seemed to be expecting different answers from those she was giving, consulting something in a folder that her mom kept looking at fearfully.

Apparently satisfied they left  her with her family, Lillia attempted to talk to them but the exhaustion of the last hour soon caused her to drift off to sleep. The next time she woke up the room was full of teenaged girls and flowers.

'Lil' Rose cried on noticing she was awake. 'You had us all so worried!'

Daisy nodded, 'Thank god Jeremy is a little geek and was awake for study club and pulled you out.  He had to do CPR for like, 15 minutes until the meds arrived.'

Typical Daisy, Lillia thought, always covering good with a nasty comment. But what had Jeremy been doing at her house. And who were those other girls in her room?

'What happened to me' she asked her friends. 'I know I was in the pool but I don't know how I got there'.

The unknown girls snickered and Rose shot them a look.

'Lil we were all wasted' Rose said, 'None of us saw you go out, it wasn't until Jeremy screamed for help we even woke up. I guess you just fell in or decided to swim drunk'.

Lillia couldn't believe she would have been so stupid but that wasn't the only odd thing.

'Why were we drunk at my house?' She asked, confusion clear on her face.

The unknown blonde said, 'Um, it was your party? Duh!'

And Lillia snapped. 'Who the hell even are you two. Get out of my room you freaks!' And they scuttled out, looking shocked. Daisy's face was unreadable as Rose looked worried.

'Lillia,' she began, 'Do you really not recognise Brooke and Nina?'

Lillia shook her head, 'I think I've seen them around school but never to speak to.'

Rose nodded.

'Daisy we need to go find the doctors and her parents,' she said, turning away and speaking quietly, but not quietly enough.

Soon the room was filled once again with people and the hated folder. The doctors poked and prodded, asked more questions and then conferred in the corridor. As one left the other held on to a single sheet from the folder and came in and sat at the foot of the bed.

'Lillia,' he said, 'this is a scan we took of your brain the day after you arrived. You can see there is some damage in these areas caused by the oxygen starvation that took place before you were resuscitated. The main area affected by the anoxic injury is called the hippocampus. It's the part of your temporal lobe that looks after your memories.

That's why we were so surprised that you had such a clear recollection of who you were and could answer questions about your life and upbringing. Brain injuries are funny things and we thought that perhaps the damage looked worse than it was or perhaps had affected scattered and non essential memories.

It seems you haven't escaped completely unscathed though, it appears what is lost is your short term memories. The last five to seven months to be precise. You couldn't identify friends made shortly before Christmas but do remember your summer holiday. Can you tell me who Jeremy is?'

Too stunned to process what she had just been told Lillia answered the question.

'He's a boy in my school. I think he's cute. And he was here'.

Her parents looked at her sadly, Lillia didn't know why and turned back to the doctor.

'Why do you want to know about Jeremy?' She demanded.

The doctor also looked sad, 'To pinpoint the beginning of your amnesia. You remember shopping for a Homecoming dress but not what happened at the dance and afterwards. Jeremy is your boyfriend, you were homecoming queen, he was king, he says you love him.'

Lillia couldn't even begin to process that. How could Jeremy be her boyfriend? She hadn't felt anything when she'd seen him. Surely even if her head had forgotten her heart would have remembered. She had liked him for so long.

'Will I get my memories back?' she asked, her voice barely higher than a whisper.

She knew the answer from their faces before the doctor answered.

'We don't think so.'

 

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 They had told her she was lucky, that based on her scans they thought she would have lost more, that she would have died if Jeremy hadn't known CPR, if he hadn't found her. But Lillia didn't feel lucky, she was glad not to be dead but she couldn't call missing six good months of memory lucky, especially when she could remember drowning so vividly. She hoped the nightmares of being in the pool would clear once she was discharged and back in her own bed but they didn't.

Night after night she awoke drenched in sweat, clutching the air and panting. She could feel the water choking her, hear it pushing at her eardrums. Lillia couldn't go to the back of the house, the proximity of the pool was enough to make her panic, she didn't even like to sit where she could see it out of the window.

When her counselor asked her why she told her honestly. Seeing that pool was like seeing her own grave while she was still alive. Six months of her life died in that pool, her career plan died in that pool. Whoever Lillia had been before the accident lay still and unbreathing on the bottom of that pool.

The counselor looked sympathetic and promised she would find her way back to herself. Lillia wanted to slap the sympathetic smile of her face. At 17 six months was a large fraction of her life to lose. She wanted to slap most people these days and apparently this was another part of her brain injury. Irritability due to anoxic injury of the frontal lobe.

Even the sound of the diagnosis was irritating.

Above all though, Lillia was frustrated by herself. She could shut out other people, doing the rest of the academic year as homeschooling and not answering her phone. But even when she was alone in her room there was in escaping that blank hole in her memory, the shadow which had taken the place of her personality. Lillia saw the sideways glances people gave each other when she didn't respond how they expected, the careful readjustment of their expectations of her when they realised she didn't remember.

The girl in the mirror might have looked like her but she wasn't the same. She wasn't a swimmer, a girlfriend or a leader.

Lillia was lost.

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Read on with Chapter 4 - Facade and Failure

The Monroe Legacy - G.4. Chapter 1 - Holding Court

Lillia Monroe stood completely still, all ten of her toes curled tightly against the concrete edge of the pool. It was completely silent except for the water's movement and even at 5am she could feel the heavy, chlorine scented air warm against her skin. Her best friend Daisy found the poolside too oppressive, often wondering aloud how Lillia bore the constant humidity. On bad days Lillia often wanted to comment that it was less oppressive than Daisy's company, but such an outburst would ruin the carefully constructed life-plan which was seeing her safely through high-school.

The fact was that swimming was the time when Lillia felt free. Her suit was far from glamorous, her carefully highlighted hair was stuffed inside a rubber cap and the water kept her apart from everyone and everything else. She didn't have to be anything other than herself when she swam, not a popular girl, not the heir to her family legacy, not a sister or a friend. Just her.

Glancing at the digital clock face on the wall she realised she'd been stood still daydreaming for the best part of two minutes. Or two laps as her coach would see it. Pressing her goggles into place she took a breath and dived in. An hour of this and then she'd go get ready to make nice for the rest of the school. It was time to face junior year.

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A month later

'Get a load of that senior girl in the awful dress' Rose giggled, pointing non too subtly at a freckled girl in what was clearly a cheap dress. As Daisy giggled, Lillia cringed inwardly, sometimes her friends were so shallow. Of course they saw the dress and the bad eyeshadow and not the way that the girl's date was gazing at her. Tugging absently at her hem Lillia thought that she'd trade her boutique dress and the meathead jock who was her date for a geeky sophomore to adore her in that way.

Increasingly she found Rose and Daisy's company less satisfying than those long ago days where they'd put on shows in the yard and make snow angels. They were judgemental, valued lipgloss above most things and seemed to be left completely unimpressed by life. Lillia envied the hysterical laughter that blew across from the drama table in the lunch hall, the team banter that passed her by in the swim team locker room. She'd paid more for her place in the Flowers than anyone would guess, but what was the alternative?

Lillia had always been quiet, always been a bit of an eccentric with her sports obsession and Eva's rebel influence. Without the Flowers she'd be the uninteresting athletic girl, made an easy target by the disappearance and pregnancy scandal of her big sister and her autistic brother. 

Perhaps if she was more like Casper and Eva then she'd be able to cope with that, fall back on her intelligence and fight the cruel remarks with cutting sarcasm or complete disinterest. But she'd never been like that, Lillia was the easy child, the one who quietly moulded herself to survive in a situation and true to form she'd melted down her personality and created a high school prima donna. 

Lillia had it all, if only it was all what she wanted....

The screech of the microphone disrupted the homecoming dance and her friends rose excitedly, dragging her with them to a spot conveniently close to the stairs up to the stage. Lillia plastered on a grin, Daisy was a great actress, she looked nervous and excited, even though all three of them knew how the vote would go. They'd decided at the beginning of the year, well Daisy had anyway. Rose would take the homecoming crown, Lillia Spring Fling Queen and Daisy would get Prom queen. They'd all solemnly sworn not to campaign against each other and as the most popular girls in school they had no reason to believe their plan wasn't going perfectly.

'And your Homecoming King iiiiisssssss.......... Jeremy Gilbert'

Silence greeted the announcement, everyone had expected Jace Conners, Rose's date to win it. Eventually a confused Jeremy made it up on stage, the kids outside the popular crowd finally realised that one of them had won and cheered and hollered as Jeremy smiled sheepishly. Lillia could sense Daisy standing stiffly beside her, and Rose's grip on her arm went from excited to slightly painful, for the first time something school related was not going as they'd planned it.

As the cheering died down to await the prom queen announcement Daisy turned to Rose and Lillia.

'You both did what I said right? No more nasty surprises?' Lillia replied in the affirmative and Rose nodded, her lips thin and her expression unreadable. It seemed that winning was really important to her and she paled as the announcer returned to the microphone.

'Your homecoming queen iiiiiiissssss........   LILLIA MONROE!

Lillia's heart stopped. This was bad. Turning to Rose she saw the hurt of perceived betrayal whilst Daisy looked..... furious.

'I didn't do this,' she tried to stay calm, but she could see her friends didn't believe her. 'Daisy I swear I didn't! But the crowd was pushing her up the stairs, cheering for her and all Lillia could do was go. As the crown was placed on her head she searched the crowd for Rose and found her nowhere, just the blank stare of Daisy burning into her.

As the dance floor cleared and the band started a slow song for the homecoming court to have their dance Lillia couldn't even look at Jeremy, couldn't enjoy the long imagined sensation of his hands on her waist. The second the song was over she rushed away, searching for her friends and finding them nowhere. Eventually she tracked down someone who had seen them leaving with their dates in the limo they'd shared. Not knowing what to do, Lillia called her mom for a lift, holding back the tears until she got to her room, realising after she'd cried her makeup off that she still had her crown on.      

She'd cried because there was no way Daisy was going to believe that she hadn't planned it, the Jeremy thing was one coincidence too many, and she'd seen how her friend treated people who messed up her plans. Rose would get over it, her cousin was always quick to throw a fit and equally quick to forgive, as long as Daisy let her.

But now Lillia was the one with the crown, the one the school had voted queen. People followed Daisy because they were scared but they had voted for Lillia because they liked her. And Lillia wasn't scared of Daisy anymore. She didn't have to follow Daisy, to accept her judgement, she could be the leader and there would be nothing her friend could do about it, there were plenty of girls who'd love to take her place at Lillia's side. A new era was coming for the Flowers and Daisy could like it or leave.

Lillia touched up her makeup and dragged her brother out  of his room to take a picture.

She touched it up until she looked perfect and posted it to her profile and the Brittlebush homepage.

"There's a new queen in town! See ya in the cafeteria biatches".

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Will Lillia succeed in taking control of the Flowers?

Read Chapter Two - Sink or Swim

The Monroe Legacy - Generation 3 Finale - Last Orders

As Lillia's  16th birthday approached, Gray wondered if maybe he had announced his decision too soon and put too much pressure on his young daughter. It had been almost a five years since he had chosen, aware that for Eva, adult life had already begun and wanting to grant her the freedom she deserved but rather than giving Lillia purpose, the legacy seemed to weigh heavily on her mind. He'd seen her sit staring at the increasingly battered legacy journal for hours, a strange look on her face and he wondered if Lillia might be having second thoughts, though she always denied it when asked.

Gray had thought that his decision would give her confidence in her teenage years, should she ever want to stand apart from her friends. Maybe it had, but Lillia had never wavered in her social allegiances, she was as close to Daisy and Rose as she had ever been and the three of them ruled the school. Gray and Rachel had kept their eyes peeled for any sign that the Flowers were more mean girls than dream girls but so far they just seemed like the average popular kids, they had their moments, but so did most kids.

Flynn was certainly king of such moments. The fit he threw his first day at nursery would, Eva said, never be outdone as the most simultaneously hilarious and traumatic experience of her life. It was said that the screaming could be heard a block away.

For all his tantrums, Flynn was a good kid and Eva had done a wonderful job so far, he was definitely a momma's boy but she was firm with him and Gray was so proud of his daughter. He was ecstatic that she would soon be home for good, having just completed her final year at Brown and she had graduated magna cum laude, in front of her thrilled family and a beaming Hayden.

Eva had finally given Hayden the answer he wanted the day she had recieved her acceptance letter for Brown, they married a few months later at home with just family as witnesses and spent a Honeymoon weekend flat hunting around the Brown campus.

The day they moved away Gray had been a mess, he'd planned out a sort of speech and a big farewell, something about how proud he was and that the sadness of her leaving would be made sweeter by the knowledge that she was chasing her dream. But when the moment came that all flew out of the window and they just sobbed and hugged and cried. 

Now they were coming back, Hayden had busted his ass working whilst Eva had been at college and they had enough for the deposit on a tiny house on a new development. With Flynn about to start school, Eva was due to start working at the local science facility and Hayden's hard work had guaranteed him a transfer to his company's office in town. Gray was thrilled, it would be wonderful to have them close and to get to know his grandson properly now he was a big boy, holiday visits just weren't enough.

Lillia was excited to see Eva too, especially now she knew her sister wouldn't want her room back! Casper was warier, not about Eva and certainly not to see Hayden, he'd missed his chess nemesis, but to be around Flynn, who he mainly remembered as a screaming and disruptive baby.

It wasn't the baby's fault, Casper knew that, but if his nephew was still very loud it was bad timing, Casper had been accepted into an elite summer science programme at MIT and he had a lot of studying to do if he was going to blow them away. In the years since they'd moved away Casper had grown from a studious little boy into a studious young man, his academics beyond reproach, he even participated in the odd group study, though most social gatherings still sent him running to his chemistry set and Tia.

Fortunately the reunion went well, Rachel cried a little, Gray grinned constantly and Flynn rather overawed by all the people who turned up - half the extended family were there to welcome Eva home - was very well behaved and quiet. Casper have Eva a quick hug before making a chess plan with Hayden and then retreated to his room. His family were nice he supposed but there were ever such a lot of them! 

A few weeks later Lillia found herself the sole inhabitant of the Monroe residence. Her parents having flown across to Yale to get Casper settled, the house was strangely still. At first That was exciting, Lillia thought to herself that this was how it would be once she was in charge of the house.  Then it was too quiet, the silence expectant and oppressive and she did what she always did when she was unsure, she called in her friends. Fortunately it was too late for Rose and Daisy to organised a  party so they settled for raiding the wine rack and getting rather tipsy whilst watching movies.

After a while the conversation turned to boys, as it always did, Rose giggling over a new senior who had transferred and Daisy swooning over Rose's brother Axel, much to her disgust. As usual , Lillia was the quiet one, it wasn't that she wasn't interested, she just hadn't really seen anyone of her type in a while. Usually her friends just let it go, but the wine spurred them on.

'C'mon Lil! There must be somebody you like.' Rose whinged, 'All the guys in our year are panting after the "mysterious" Lillia Monroe, but you're always single!'

Daisy looked sideways at her, a slightly unpleasant smile crossing her face. Lillia stiffened, she knew that look.

'I know who Lil likes'  she snickered. Rose whipped round, eyes wide.

'No! Who?!' She was shocked.

So was Lillia, 'Oh really?!' She teased, 'who is my prince charming! waiting in the wings then? I'd love to meet him!'

'Jeremy Gilbert, your geeky lab partner. I've seen you get all hot and bothered taking to him.'

Lillia flushed red, 'I do not have a thing for Jeremy. We're just friends.' She insisted.

Rose shrugged, 'But you have enough friends. Better friends. You don't need losers hanging around you.'

Lillia tried to stay calm, 'Which is why Jeremy is my lab partner and not at this sleepover. You guys know I need a good partner to pass that class.'

The ping of the microwave diffused the tension in the room and Lillia went to get the popcorn. She took the trash outside to cool off and once she was alone she took a deep calming breath. What had just happened was exactly why she would never tell anyone, anyone at all, about her crush on Jeremy Gilbert.

When Gray and Rachel returned, tired and having left Casper halfway across the country to take care of himself, a challenge they believed he was ready for but that scared them nonetheless, it felt as if an era was drawing to an end.

Gray felt older somehow, as if he had had just enough energy to keep him going for as long as he was needed desperately. He'd long ago lost count of the grey-white hairs on his head and had been amused by the saga of Rachel's attempts to find an anti-wrinkle cream that worked. Age had crept up on them quietly, kept away only by the tireless energy that they'd expended to try and keep everything together.

Now Eva was off with a family of her own, a home, a son and a husband, not to mention a degree and a career. Gray couldn't even see the angry teenager he'd once known in her any more, the glowing young woman she'd become was a testament only to her own strength of character and the chance to start again.

Lillia was almost grown, she seemed happy and confident, she had her sports and her friends and her academic were good enough not to hold her back. Gray only wished he had taken more time to treasure her childhood years, caught between her siblings she'd grown up too fast and that was something he'd never be able to take back.

And Casper, for all the nights of sleep that Gray and Rachel had lost over him, he was doing so well. It seemed like he too barely needed them. His schooling was so advanced that they could barely follow it, he functioned with hardly a thing to distinguish him from his siblings. The only time when the Aspergers really affected things was when he was surprised by or under-prepared for a social situation. Gone were the days where his temper flared at the slightest misunderstanding, he was learning to cope with the world and with the people in it and that was his parents dearest wish for him.

Gray hoped that maybe one day Casper would find what he had with Rachel with another person, that his son would want that for himself, but for now it was more than enough to see his son becoming independent, even if that meant he didn't need Gray so much.

Yes, it was the end of an era.

Looking across to where Rachel sat engrossed in a recipe book muttering ingredients to herself! Gray smiled. It was twenty years since they'd first sat together like this, their dreams very different from what they were now. Those two decades felt like a whirlwind, a constant fight to do what was best for their family and Gray couldn't imagine a better partner to have seen him through it than Rachel had been.

Perhaps now was their chance to go back after those dreams they'd shared that had fallen by the wayside, the dreams which had been hung up and used to pad their children's way in the world. Their hair might be greyer and their joints a little stiffer but there was time yet, this time was theirs. It was time to let Lillia chronicle their history and make her own successes and mistakes, time for Gray to step back and support his children rather than pushing them along.

Crossing the room Gray joined Rachel on the sofa, tapping the page of her book until he had her attention.

'Rachel, I think it's time to have another try at opening up that restaurant we always dreamed of.'      

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Generation Four has now begun. Read Chapter 1 - Holding Court now!