The Monroe Legacy - G.4 Chapter 17 - Normal People Things

 So begin the honeymoon years of the Moon-Monroe household, the period of time that gets brushed over often for the relative dullness of reading the unremarkable happiness of ordinary people. Perhaps, if they'd taken up Mrs Moon's offered papers might have found a way to spin their occasional fight over whose turn it was for laundry or their constant handholding at the grocery store into a story. Then again, had they become "those" Moons, they wouldn't have been doing groceries or laundry, and it was in these small normal spaces that they most enjoyed each other. 

Lillia moved into Noki's modern little starter home on the edge of town and they made up for all the time they'd wasted.

Noki's work was predictable and paid the bills, Lillia's career as am agent was still more of a theory than a reality, but that was okay. They had all the time in the world and things that were much more fun than thinking about pensions or savings to occupy their time. They had a couples bowling night every week with Rose and Mugsy which always ended with Noki as a pile of blushing apologies as Rose lovingly ridiculed his playboy past. They had a weekly family dinner at the bistro with Lillia's parents, siblings and the assorted cousins, spouses and old friends that a family of their size always seemed to acquire.

Nobody except Lillia and Noki was surprised when a stubborn bout of stomach flu turned out to be the next fork in the family tree.

They hadn't got round to talking about babies as a specific rather than a definite future plan, but after so long spent waiting to be together, why wait now. Privately they both thought that having a bigger family might be nice. The Moons had always heavily implied to Noki that they thought having more than two children was tacky, unless of course you had failed to have a boy, in which case it was desperate but understandable. Lillia had a raft of cousins but her own childhood had been lonely at home, between the legacy of Eva's disappearance and Caspar's Asperger's, she'd often felt a bit lost.

Still, these were thoughts for the future and for now there were first baby logistics to fit in round the morning sickness, family announcements and work. The long planned bathroom remodel went on hold and the money went on very small socks and enough wash cloths to dry an army of babies... or so they thought. 

Noki sent a polite email to his mother, letting her know she was going to be a grandparent, but wasn't surprised not to hear anything back. He was starting to get used to the disappointment of their disinterest in him as anything other than the Moon Petroleum heir, and what had once stabbed now only stung. It helped that after a bumpy start, the Monroes had basically adopted him, and getting to know them, realising that many of them had pasts they regretted and were still accepted was healing him in ways he hadn't really known he'd needed. 

It felt right that the text to announce Noki's imminent parenthood came from Lillia's mom, her water having broken in their yard. A long but uncomplicated 36 hours at the hospital sent them home with the best thing they'd done together to date.

Rumi Blaise Monroe changed everything.  

They were a noisier, tired-er, messier household, but also sillier and connected in a different way. Noki only had a week off work to soak it in while Lillia decided to wait to complete her final qualification. 

Sometimes at his desk, Noki would worry that his girls back home were forgetting about him. Sometimes, home with the baby, Lillia worried that she was forgetting how to do anything aside from keep a baby alive. In the evenings they would each read that worry on each other and talk about it, cry about it, in a way they hadn't before they were exhausted parents with no capacity for subtlety.

Things were working so well, that following a promotion for Noki, it seemed as good a time as ever to add a sibling. Lillia felt like it would be easier to take one longer break from building her reputation as an agent than two shorter ones. 

It would be tight, they barely had space for soon-to-be-toddler Rumi and all the clutter that came with that age, but that felt like a delightfully normal problem to have. Gray and Rachel had offered them the legacy house, it had too much room now they were on their own, but Lillia wasn't ready for that yet. She loved living with just her little family in a cosy kind of chaos and she wasn't ready to try and work out how she might make her parents house feel like her own. 

Lilla was standing rocking Rumi back to sleep the night the familiar pangs of labour came back. A nervous thrill ran through her and she paused a while before waking Noki.

She loved this. This house, this family, this life they had made, and she was sure that the new baby would only compound that love.

Two days later and hundreds of miles away, an impatient hand crumpled the newspaper, flown in specially from Lucky Palms.

"What kind of name is Asa?" he grumbled to an assistant hovering nervously at the door. The assistant cast about for an answer that wouldn't get them fired but an answer wasn't required. 

"At least it's a boy this time" the man concluded, his voice thoughtful. "Please call my wife in. She's going to be making a trip".

 

The Monroe Legacy - G.4 Chapter 16 - Something Old

She had the drowning nightmare the night before her wedding and was trying not to read into it. It didn't come naturally to her. She got ready telling herself nothing was wrong, that it was just a stress response ahead of a big life event, but the dark voice in the back of her head kept telling her there was more than one way to drown. 

Lillia loved Noki. She wanted to marry him, to start there family but she couldn't shake the feeling that their comfortable little bubble was actually just the inside of a huge barrel wave, headed towards an inevitable crash. Fortunately her mother and Eva knew her well enough not to try and make her talk about it, instead conversing merrily together about the best of Noki and Lillia's past, their hopes for them and joking about the trials of marriage. With them in her corner, Lillia made it to the venue feeling almost calm and ready for the next chapter. 

Her dad and Oscar were waiting to lead her in, and Rose was peeking impatiently out to get a look at the dress. They'd kept things small, wanting to live within their means and celebrate their hard-won happiness with only those closest to them. 

She'd made it almost all the way down the aisle, finding strength in the warmth on Noki's face, the solid presence of her father beside her when she spotted the stranger in the crowd. The woman looked at her with curiosity, confusion even, before arranging her face into a neutral impression whose similarity to Lillia's almost-husband told her who she must be. Noki's mother had come to Lucky Palms.

She stumbled slightly, blushing and thrown, sure that Mrs Moon must be judging her, finding her lacking and the panic was back. 

Monroe Legacy Gen 5 Heir Poll

 Hello Humans

While I'm still scooching through writing the interrim, I've arrived at the point where I basically need to decide my heir for Gen 5 for it not to be a colossal effort/get the kiddo prepped. Therefore I'm doing a slightly early heir poll on the grounds it's also kinda fairer for the older kids not to get more attention which is usually my failure :D

Gen 5 is going to have a mystery element that connects (loosely) to the Gen 1/2 Arc so there are things that need setting up. 

I aged all the kiddos up to teen for a picture and have plopped them below with their 4 unique traits. Whoever wins will have adventurer as their fifth. I tweaked Lillia and Noki's genes to be a bit more interesting when I rebooted the legacy and I'm really happy with how the kids turned out - possibly why I ended up with 5 :S

Option 1: Rumi Monroe

Full Name: Rumi Blaise Monroe

Traits: Virtuoso, Good, Vegetarian, Heavy Sleeper

Vibe: Rumi is a drummer, a bit of a hippie and a pretty laid back chick. If she wins the vote she'd pursue the mystery on location, living nomadically and trying to stay grounded, despite the madness. 

Option 2: Asa Monroe

Full name: Asa Gray Monroe

Traits: Loner, couch potato, slob, compute whiz

Vibe: If Asa is heir, he'll try and use tech to progress the mystery, using whatever parts of the internet he can to avoid having to physically dig. Ew. He will be a reluctant explorer.

Option 3: Matisse Monroe

Full name: Matisse Maev Monroe

Traits: Artistic, brave, excitable, technophobe

Vibe: Matisse couldn't be more different from her big brother, she'll pursue the mystery with great energy, if not much finesse. Her hands on approach may put her risk but she figures maybe it'll also inspire her great work.

Option 4: Revel Monroe

Full name: Revel Rose Monroe

Traits: Perceptive, unlucky, disciplined, friendly

Vibe: Matisse's twin, Revel has spent a lot of time cleaning up after her impulsive sister but it's never gotten her ahead. In pursuing the mystery, she believes that order and preparation will see her triumph, if only her luck will hold. 

Option 5: Hero Monroe

Full name: Hero Shay Monroe

Traits: Rebel, eccentric, heat lover, nurturing

Vibe: Hero has always gone her own way, and she doesn't really care if it's legal or not. To solve this mystery and protect her family, she'll not only think outside the box, she'll burn the box down. 

CAST YOUR VOTE HERE

The Monroe Legacy - G.4 Chapter 15 - Rose Intervenes

In all the great love stories, the destined lovers come together in a shower of sparks. Stars align, shoulders bump in a coffee line and the twists and turns are gentle and minimally painful. Lillia called bullshit. 

She'd had a lot of boyfriends. Sometimes it had been romantic but more often than not it had been transactional, calculated; the elite of two circles extending their status, ensuring some meaningless title, proving she could get what she wanted. And now?

Whatever it was she had with Noki was certainly not rose petals and sunset strolls. She loved him. Lillia could admit that to herself now, and she was pretty sure he felt the same but they'd both hurt so many people it would never feel the pure and exciting rush of storybook love. And anyway, they were "just friends".

Since he'd moved to Lucky Palms they had spent a lot of time together, late nights at Sparky's, TV binges and dinner at his place. He'd even briefly met her parents and joined Lillia and Rose for a quick drink. From the outside it seemed they'd found an easy friendship, inside Lillia felt she was at war with herself. 

Surely nothing good could come from giving into the feelings that had torn her life apart? Wouldn't her and Noki crossing that line prove right all the awful things she'd heard whispered in her last semester at college? And her family would never approve. Rose would never truly approve...

In the end it was Rose who made it happen. 

Watching her idiot cousin and ex circle each other like self-flagellating martyrs had been fun for a few weeks but now it was pathetic. Anyone could see they wanted to be together and honestly? It was getting annoying to try not to yell "JUST KISS HIM" in Lillia's face every time she turned up for a coffee or a drink looking all sad and faraway. 

Rose had decided that Mugsy was going to marry her and Mugsy was fine with that. Rose did not want morose Lillia at her engagement party so she hatched a plan. 

Lillia walked into the empty bar with a puzzled look. Had she got the wrong time. An awkward throat-clear alerted her to Noki's presence. 

"Rose isn't with you? She said 5PM..." He looked equally confused. 

"Um- I thought this was supposed to be her party". Lillia struggled to connect the dots and was interrupted by the snick of a letter being slid down the bar by the barkeep.

"Rose told me to give you this," the woman said, clearly enjoying her part in the plot. "She said to tell you that she's bored of the 'will they wont they' and you can't come to her actual party until you 'sort your shit out'. 

Lillia's cheeks burned. It was so Rose. She forced herself to look at Noki and saw the same scared, hopeful look dancing in his eyes as was swirling in her chest. He held out a hand. 

"You wanna dance on it?" he said. And she did. 

Everything and nothing changed. Lillia and Noki did the same things, but there was an honesty in the space between them. They'd agreed without really saying as much to take it slow, so there was no mad tumble into bed but where before they'd had stepped back from a brush of fingers while walking, a head on a shoulder during a movie they now leaned in. 

Noki knew all her secrets, her worst parts and he wasn't going anywhere. She knew all his, from the mad family to the disaster of his finances and she was still in it too. For both of them this was new territory.

Rose claimed to be disappointed there had been no fireworks, no steamy bar bathroom hookup but Lillia could tell she wasn't really. Nobody was disappointed. Her parents hadn't even blinked when she'd told them her and Noki were feeling things out romantically, for the first time in a long time Lillia wasn't hiding anything from anyone, there were no games being played, it was easy.

Noki told her he loved her over beers they hadn't waited to get cold while watching a hospital drama. Lillia told him back after she'd had a second to collect herself while refilling the popcorn. Knowing it and saying it were two different things. Letting herself feel it was yet another. 

It felt right though, another clear truth in the increasingly simple life she was building. 

With things falling into place Lillia finally knew what she wanted to pursue. She signed up to a business course which, along with her major in sport would enable her to work with young athletes on building sustainable careers. Maybe all the bad things that had happened to her, all the bad things she'd done all on her own weren't the end of the world, but just shaping a new one. For the first time Lillia felt like maybe she had something worthwhile to add to her family's legacy. She might not be a star, a genius or even a particularly nice person, but she had kept going, kept learning. 

Reading back over some of her family's journals she supposed persistence was what had really defined each of the heirs before her. Maybe her trials had been self-constructed but that didn't mean overcoming them was meaningless. She could build something better for her kids. Her family would support her in doing that and Noki's were out of the picture. 

They had a clear shot, a real chance. That was better than some bullshit fairy tale happy ever after and nothing was going to get in their way.

Read Chapter 16 - Something Old

The Monroe Legacy - Gen. 4 Chapter 14 - The End of Avoidance

 She's hoped he wouldn't come - that he'd run away like she had but vanishing had never been Noki's style. He was on time, looking only a little nervous which somehow made Lillia's sweaty palms even clammier. She gestured at the next sun lounger, slightly further away than would make for a comfortable conversation. A calculated move to try and keep things short. Impersonal.

"Hi," he said. It didn't feel impersonal.

"You wanted to see me?" Despite everything Rose had said, everything Lillia knew to be true in her cousin's outburst the night before, she still didn't know how to have this talk. She didn't know what she wanted so she figured it was best to let Noki take the lead while she tried to work things out.

"Um. Yes. It's about Lucky Palms. Well sort of. It's about you and Lucky Palms, you in Lucky Palms... am I making any sense?" He stumbled for words and Lillia couldn't help the affectionate smile that quirked her lip. He's never been unsure in college, until that last time, and it reminded her of - no. She didn't want to think about that.

"So far I've understood you have something to say about me and/or Lucky Palms in various configurations", she kept her tone light, and he looked at her, something of the old dynamic snapping between them.

"Right." Noki gathered himself. "So I've had an offer. Two actually. One of a job, here in Lucky Palms and another from the University to buy Yellow Cottage for more than it's really worth. It's a chance for me to have a real fresh start, one that I could never afford otherwise... but I know that this is your hometown. "Your family is here, Rose is here, and I've made things hard enough for you. So - I wanted to give you the chance to tell me to stay away. And I will. I can look for another job".

He tailed off. Lillia stood and walked towards the water. She knew without looking that he had followed. She paused.

"You know, I really liked that Yellow Cottage" she mused, "I got the impression you did too?"

Noki agreed. "I did. I do. But I can't really afford to keep it. Nobody's hiring anything close to what I'd have to pay to keep it up.

"Your parents still haven't reconsidered?" Lillia was surprised. Was it really so terrible to not go through with an arranged marriage in the 21st Century. On look at Anoki's face told her that apparently it was. He looked sad, angry and resolute all in the fraction of a second.

"No," was his only response.

"Well Lucky Palms is a pretty big town, and I assume you're not planning to work for any of my family's businesses? Lillia asked.

"The job is just out of town, New Business Junior Associate at Rowson Hydroelectrics. It sounds boring as hell. It is  boring as hell but it pays, and they didn't make my dad's list of companies to call and tell not to hire me so..."He sounded matter of fact, resigned to his limited options and Lillia almost envied him the simplicity of his choice. She still had no idea what to pursue.

"You should take the job" she said. "What happened between us was a mess and a mistake but we don't have to keep paying for it forever." Lillia couldn't quite believe how simple it sounded in clear air. 

"Really?" Noki sounded doubtful, but pleased.

"What?" Lillia joked, "Surely I wasn't that big of a controlling bitch at college that you expected me to ban you from an entire town for my convenience?"

"Weeeellllll-oof", he started, before Lillia punched him in the arm.

"And there I was about to take you up on your long ago offer of friendship Anoki Moon. Such a shame your sense of humor is still that of a grade schooler". He grinned at her and she suddenly remembered why he'd been so dangerous, what his smile - the real one rather than the knowing smirk - could do to her.

"You really wanna be friends with me?" Noki sounded so hopeful that Lillia didn't have the heart to say no, even as all her cautious braincells screamed to run, maintain distance, guard against the man who was somehow standing much closer than she'd thought he was. 

"Sure." She shrugged, stepping back. "I think we can probably manage friends. Rose asked me to tell her what you wanted so I will make sure she's cool with it before we plan any bar crawls or... friendship bracelet ceremonies."

Lillia's sentence trailed into silence. Had she given away the flip her stomach still did for Noki in the pause when she desperately racked her brain for platonic activities they might do together. Had he caught the faint blush that chased the definitely not platonic activities that had briefly flirted on the edge of her mind. Had he-

He stepped forward and took her hands. 

"Thank you Lillia. You've made all this sound easy but I know it might not have been. I appreciate the second chance. I owe you a beer."

"Third chance." She lightly stepped out of his reach, keeping her tone light and even. "So I think you owe me three beers!" She walked away before he could see that her hands were shaking.

The Monroe Legacy - Gen. 4 Chapter 13 - Who Are You Punishing?

"Of course you're here." Lillia didn't care that her voice carried a little too far across the empty terrace. "It's 5AM Noki, do not try me".

He crooked an eyebrow but otherwise didn't react to her harsh welcome. 

"Hello Lillia. It's nice to see you too. I know it's early but your mum told me that you finish at 6 and I would really like for us to talk when you're done? I wanted to give you some time to think about it. I figured if I came at 6 you'd just run." Noki sounded the same as always, though the smug confidence that had carried him through college was gone.

He fidgeted on his chair.

Lillia frowned.

"You want me to think about whether or not I want to talk to you while I wait on you?"

Noki shrugged. "I can go wait somewhere? In the park round the corner? Come back at 6? Or I can stay, I promise I'll leave a good tip".

"I don't want anything from you!" It escaped before Lillia could realise what she was saying. Noki's eyes went big as she clapped a hand over her mouth. "What I mean is that I don't want to feel like I owe you a chat. I'll talk to you if I want to, not because you threw money at the problem. We're not in college any more and I'm trying to be different".

He nodded slowly. "You know I was jo- you know what never mind. I'll go wait in that park. Come by if you want to see me Lillia. I would - well - just do what you want okay?"

Lillia didn't watch to see if he looked back on his way out, wiping down the table with excessive vigour and dumping the cleaning kit back behind the bar. Sparky looked at her with the sort of kind curiosity she'd spent months trying not to attract.

"You wanna tell me why you're scaring off paying customers Miss Lil?" he asked.

She shook her head. "He's... just a guy things ended weirdly with Sparky and - ," Lillia's sentence hung unfinished as she stared at a spot on the counter, twisting a pen in her hands.

Sparky smiled, nodded, this made more sense than the nothing he'd had to go on before. 

"Why don't you finish up a bit early? Go do what you need to. Mitch and I can handle things," he said, and then held his tongue and his neutral expression until Lillia had crumpled up her apron and dashed for the door.

She stood for a second, looking in the direction of the park, with a curious expression, then
got in her car and drove home as the sun rose over the desert.

The Monroe Legacy - G.4. Chapter 12 - Now... Where Was I?

 

I suppose you're wondering how we got here. How is it that after six years of silence and a cliffhanger that must surely have been fatal to your interest by now, Lillia Monroe is standing in her wedding dress as if no time has passed. 

We last saw her, humbled and heartbroken by the loss of a friend, a possible romance dead on arrival and facing the disapproval of her family. Home from college but with no idea where to go, who to be, and on her own for the first time without the shield of popularity and her family's legacy to uphold.

How could a young woman, only just beginning to reckon with the harms she's caused, the lives her lies so carelessly derailed, get back to a place where she could peacefully walk down the aisle? Could that self-centred child ever be ready to start a life with a partner that would stand the test of time?

Well, if you'll bear with me, I'll tell you...

The Monroe Legacy - G.4. Chapter 11 - Paying the Price

Authors Note - I'm so sorry for the long hiatus. I kind of fell out of love with this story because it just wasn't flowing, the save was laggy and RL got crazy. Then inspiration hit, I moved them to a new neighbourhood and life calmed down. I have a few chapters ready to go and I will henceforth be aiming to publish a chapter a week. Probably Monday or Tuesday.

Thanks for bearing with me :)

Rose XX

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'Rose! Wait!'

Lillia threw open the door and shouted at her cousin's retreating figure but Rose showed no sign of slowing.

'Please Rose!' Perhaps it was the pleading tone of her voice, perhaps Rose just wanted to confront them but this time she did stop, turning slowly to reveal tear streaked cheeks and blazing eyes.

'Fine' she spat. 'You have two minutes,' and with that she stalked back up the drive and through the door.

Noki stepped forward, his posture displaying his discomfort and voice laced with concern.

'Rose, it isn't what it looks like..'

'No! I'm not here to listen to you Anoki. I'm here for one reason and one reason only. So that Lillia can tell me the truth.'. In the face of Rose's fury Noki shrank back and Lillia, trying to compose herself stepped forwards.

'There's nothing going on between us Rose, I didn't even mean to come here but there was some stuff we needed to talk through. Stuff involving you.'

Rose's shoulder slumped.

'I knew it.' The rage was gone from her voice and sadness had taken it's place. 'Ever since Daisy told me last year that the two of you were getting it on I've watched for anything to make me believe her. I could ignore the little glances and you constantly trying to avoid talking about him. I almost had myself convinced that it was all just another one of Daisy's schemes. But she was right. Something did happen.'

Lillia nodded slowly, 'I kept trying to find a way to tell you. It was the end of year party and it was a huge mistake.'

Rose shook her head, 'No the huge mistake was me assuming that because we were related you would treat me any differently than those other innocent girls who got between you and something you wanted. The mistake was me believing that there was some of the Lillia I knew before the accident under that cold plastic exterior.'

Lillia couldn't find anything to rebut that. It stung but it was the truth after all, just as she'd feared that last loose thread of dishonesty had unravelled all the hard work she'd done to change into a person she wanted to be. Lillia was defeated but still Noki tried to defend her,

'It was just once and Lil was really drunk. Rose you have to believe us.'

'I don't have to believe anything you two say.' There was no understanding in those words, no hope of reconciliation. 'Once was one time to many. I hope you're happy Lillia, you just made an enemy of the last person on campus who was really on your side. You deserve him.'

And with that she turned and left.

Lillia and Noki stood side by side staring at the space she had left. Ten minutes ago they had seen a new friendship stretching before them and promised to help each other be better people. They had hoped for a resolution. How stupid it all seemed now.

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The awful thing about life in the sorority, thought Lillia, was that nothing had really changed. Before she had drifted past the low whispers and sideways looks assuming they were nothing to do with her. But Rose had stripped her of that illusion and now the dining hall was a minefield of hurtful words. Selfish, slut, traitor, fake, bitch. That was their favourite. She pretended not to hear it, that words didn't matter but seeing in Rose's face that her own cousin believed those things of her was heartbreaking.

Some days she would muster up the courage to confront them, drawing herself up and catapulting herself to heart of the noise, usually around Daisy, intending to demand they say those things to her face. But the second she was seated the smiles would snap into place and they'd chatter mindlessly about celebrities and fashion until she could bear the two-facedness no longer.

Worse still was the return home to Lucky Palms where the fair-weather friends of the party scene flocked to Rose's side and a frosty divide had set in between two branches of the Monroe family. Where once Gray, Jet and the other siblings had eaten en masse at the bistro at least weekly there was now nothing. The ranch was off limits because of Lillia and though Gray had assured her it would blow over, his tone suggested he wasn't impressed by her actions.

Rachel's reaction was worse yet. While Gray had largely avoided the topic except to confirm that what they had heard second hand (a full-blown affair spanning months) was not true, Lillia's mother had been unable to hide her disappointment. The morning after Lillia returned for spring break she found her mom with a serious expression and two cups of coffee waiting in an otherwise deserted house.

'Mom... I didn't mean to-',

'Stop there Lillia. You didn't mean to hurt your cousin. It was a mistake. We've all heard it a hundred times. And honestly I believe that you didn't mean to do it. The problem is that I think you don't mean to do a lot of the things you do, I blame myself and your father for part of that, I was always so proud to have a "popular" daughter that I assumed that the person I knew was the same one the rest of the world saw, even if the evidence didn't exactly support my view .'

Lillia hung her head and Rachel's tone softened slightly.

'Lillia honey, I know you didn't have an easy run of it, Eva's disappearance, the accident, your dad and I being so busy. You were always such a sweet child that we just let you do as you wanted, I never told you no or raised my concerns at first because they seemed silly and then because I didn't want to push you away or upset you. You were this beautiful and completely confusing teenager and I wanted to keep you close. It seemed to get worse when you went to University and I wondered if I should say something then but just when I got up the nerve you seemed to go back to being more like that little girl I used to know.'

'I've been trying mommy,' Lillia could barely hold back the tears, she could cope with everyone else hating her but knowing that her own mother had looked at her and seen a stranger was too much.

'I know baby.' Rachel's composure began to crumble too and she came to comfort her daughter. 'You're my daughter which means I notice that stuff. And you get as many do-overs as you need when it comes to me. I'll love you even if you decide to join the circus or move to Mongolia and become a monk. Which is why I had to talk to you now, before you get any further down whatever path you choose.

In this house you always have the chance to wipe the slate clean but that won't happen elsewhere. Most people won't give you the chance to figure it out and once you lose them it's over. Even that isn't always the end of the world, losing people is part of life, we leave the people we don't fit in with behind as we figure out who we are.

What you have to decide is who you want to be, not in terms of your job or your future prospects but in terms of what's in your heart, the things which truly matter to you. And then surround yourself with people who make you into that person, don't torment yourself over all the others who fall by the wayside. Figure out which people are worth fighting to have in your life and do whatever you can to hold on to them.'

'And if it's too late? If they already gave up on you?' Lillia's voice was unsteady.

Rachel smiled, 'Then you have to believe it isn't over.'

Lillia managed a watery smile in return. 'Okay.'

After gathering up the mugs and stacking the dishwasher Rachel looked over at where Lillia was still lost in thought.

'Hey Lil?'

'Hmmmmm?' was all she got back.

'How about my trendy daughter takes her old mom to the mall for a little girl time?'

Lillia finally focused back on the situation at hand, a mother daughter bonding day might be just what the doctor had ordered.

'Fine, but only if you promise never to use the word trendy ever again!' she laughed.

Read Chapter Gen 4 Chapter 12 - Now, Where Was I?

The Monroe Legacy - G.4. Chapter 9 - No More Hiding

Once the snow melted it was easy to forget it had happened, within a week all signs that it had ever been were gone and life moved on as normal. Lillia half-hoped that her encounter with Noki had just been the result of the winter madness but she soon started seeing him around campus and knew that it wasn't the case. 

Somehow it was a month before Rose realised he was there, perhaps he had started out in another social circle to them but soon enough, after a big football game which ASU won in style, he appeared at their house for the victory party. Eyes skating across Lillia without pause he focused on Rose whose jaw had dropped and face had blanched even as she hung round the neck of her latest jock boyfriend. He strode across and said something quietly to the pair before leading Rose off to a nearby bedroom and closing the door behind them.

Lillia was staggered, even for Rose that was slutty and even for Noki that was fast! She tried not to watch the door for their reappearance wishing for once that she was drunk and could just put it aside and party. Ever since the start of the year she'd been successfully avoiding the shoddy choices that alcohol seemed to inspire her to make but right now a warm flat beer and a night of frivolity seemed pretty appealing.

A few minutes later Rose and Noki emerged, neither of them bearing any signs of a passionate moment, in fact they seemed... almost.... friendly?

As her cousin made her way over Lillia tried to play it cool, not sure what might have been said or how much she was supposed to know about his presence on campus.

'So Anoki transferred to ASU', Rose began, her nonchalant tone confirming that he hadn't given Lillia away.

Lillia shrugged, 'Oh really? It seems like kind of a random move. Does that mean he wants you back?'

It was Rose's turn to shrug, 'I think we're both in a different place now, I actually really like Mugsy,' she gestured over at the guy waiting for her patiently but a little worriedly. 'Besides I don't think he wants me back either, he just wanted to apologise for the way he handled the thing between us. I was pretty surprised to be honest but he said he'd met someone who made him see things differently and he knew he needed to make things right with us. Whatever I guess! I wonder who this mystery person is though, I never thought Noki was capable of being anything less than totally self-centred!'

With this Rose excused herself and made her way over to Mugsy. As she laced her arms around his waist Lillia saw relief etched on all of his features, despite all the drama this guy cared a lot for her cousin and as much as she wanted to be happy for her, Lillia was jealous.

She skirted the edges of the party, resisting the urge to drown her sorrows and dwelling on Rose's words. She was impressed that Noki had apologised, relieved that he hadn't given her secret away and curious as to who it was that had inspired him to try to change. A little voice in Lillia's head wondered if it might of been her but she ignored it, it was impossible. Their little encounter would barely have registered in the midst of his string of conquests and they were too alike to learn from each other. Besides she didn't care what he did or didn't think anymore. Right?

The night wore on and Rose and Mugsy were glued together on the dancefloor as Lillia sipped her soda only to spit it out at the sight of Daisy, dressed in her sluttiest dress whispering something in a smirking Noki's ear with her eyes fixed triumphantly on Lillia. Enough was enough and Lillia turned without reacting and retreated to her bedroom, she knew how that situation ended and she didn't need to see it happen.

The next day at breakfast Lillia wasn't surprised when Daisy came and sat beside her, the girl never missed an opportunity to revel in the discomfort of others.

'Quite a party last night right?' She giggled.

Lillia shrugged, 'I guess. I was kinda tired to be honest, off in my own world.'

 Daisy looked disappointed for a moment before finding another path of attack, 'That's a shame, there were some absolute babes there, my world sure got rocked!'

'Lucky you,' Lillia's tone was flat and disinterested as she stared fixedly at her plate.

But Daisy was never one to let it go! 'Yeah, Anoki sure is a stud, but then I don't need to tell you guys that do I!'

Lillia was determined not to react but couldn't stop the blush from spreading across her cheeks. Sensing victory Daisy took a breath to deliver a killing blow when the scrape of a chair caused her to pause and another player entered the ring.

'I don't know what you'd know about my talents Daisy!' Noki's drawl had a hard edge to it and it was Daisy's turn to blush. 'Bitchy isn't exactly my type as I told you on the dance floor last night.'

Daisy looked as if she'd been hit, opening and shutting her mouth she looked about the table for someone to come to her aid and when she saw only people trying not to laugh at her she pushed her chair back and rushed out of the room.

'That was mean', Lillia muttered trying to keep the glee she felt at Daisy finally getting a taste of her own poisonous medicine off her face.

'Daisy's mean!' was Noki's only response, 'besides I wouldn't want anyone here thinking that I spent the night anywhere other than on your ridiculously uncomfortable sofa.  I think whoever deigned that thing was a masochist.'

As the atmosphere in the dining room settled back down to the usual post-party banter Lillia couldn't help glancing across at Noki from under her eyelashes. Perhaps she was imagining things but she could have sworn that he'd looked right at her when he'd said "anyone here". It sounded almost like he wanted her to know the truth.

But that was the kind of wishful thinking that would get her in trouble, the kind she had sworn to leave behind her. As soon as she was finish she'd with her waffles Lillia retreated out of the danger zone and up to the safe space that was her room but even her little sanctuary seemed too risky with Noki in the house. Grabbing her purse Lillia rushed out for a walk to clear her head.

Lost in her own thoughts she paid no attention to where she was going, just remembering to put one foot in front of another was as much as she could do. Her head was filled with unanswered questions, what might Daisy do to get back at them after they'd embarrassed her? That small victory at breakfast was sure to cost them dearly once she'd recovered from the embarrassment. Might now be the right time to tell Rose, if she was happy with Mugsy that could soften the blow? Would she even get the chance if Daisy decided to make good on her threat?

It felt as if the last few months of buried worries had all been building up to this moment and Lillia was beginning to realise that she might have left it too late to fix things. She'd been telling herself that she was different to before, that she had changed for the better but she hadn't actually made anything right. If she had been honest then Daisy wouldn't have any ammunition, perhaps she would have lost Rose but it could have been decided between the two of them. Even Noki had had the balls to apologise for his mistakes, while she'd just tried to pretend they were over with.

The more she thought of it the clearer it was. Those miserable few months had not really been about being a better person, Lillia had just been punishing herself as if somehow that would wipe the slate clean. But it hadn't made her feel any better because she hadn't sucked out the poisonous secret at the root of it all, she'd held on to the lie and the betrayal, concealing it behind a falsely sweet demeanour and hating herself for it. Lillia might have changed but not for the better, now instead of hurting others she was just lying to them and hurting herself.

It had to stop.

Pulling out her phone she fired off a text to Rose, asking if they could talk alone that evening and as she pressed send she felt light with relief that it would soon be over.

Glancing around to see where her aimless wander had landed her she saw yellow up ahead and realised she'd was in the road where Noki lived. The drive was empty but as she turned to go home she heard an engine approaching. Ignoring her instinct to duck into the bushes in case it was Noki she continued to walk steadily into the blinding lights of the oncoming car. She was done with hiding from her demons.

The car slowed beside her and Noki wound down his window, his brows tight with confusion.

'Lillia? How'd you get all the way over here?'

Lillia shrugged, 'I walked, I needed some air.'

Noki turned off the engine and nodded, getting out of the car.

'I know that feeling. Look I know I'm not your favourite person but I'd really like to talk to you. I looked for you after breakfast but you'd gone. I'm not going to try anything, I just... Well I'd just like to sort things out between us so we can maybe be friends. I don't know if you remember but before that night we used to have fun talking? I'd like that back.'

The mix of emotions in his voice echoed those which had been swirling in Lillia's head just minutes before. There was hope, hesitation and an edge of desperation. Perhaps she wasn't the only one trying to figure things out.

For an answer Lillia waked around and got in the passenger seat.

'I think a conversation is long overdue.'

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Read on now with Chapter 10 - Shame, Blame and Change