The Monroe Legacy - G.4 Chapter 8 - Bad Penny

Lillia's arrival at the sorority for her sophomore year was marked by a typical house party. The guys postured and pulled pranks, girls screamed, smiled plastic smiles and fluttered their fake lashes. After a summer around her laid back family Lillia was painfully aware of how shallow and meaningless it all was. While Rose threw herself back into the social scene with relish, Lillia tipped out the beer someone had passed her and refilled her solo cup with water.

The evening dragged by, she sipped her water, fended of a few over-eager lads and made small talk with all her friends. They were all so similar, so predictably boring. She found herself fighting to keep her mind off Noki.

If he was here he would have sought her out to mock the whole process, pointing out all the stupid proceedings and disasters about to happen. She would have laughed and vehemently rejected his pessimism whilst secretly agreeing with him. His ability to be part of a world while relentlessly criticising it was fascinating. It was one of the reasons she had fall.... No. That was the past and she wouldn't repeat those mistakes even in her mind. Lillia blushed recalling her last college party and how it had ended.

'Ooh! Who are you daydreaming about?!'

A familiar and unwelcome voice brought Lillia back into the room.

'Oh hi Daisy!', she plastered on a fake smile as she hugged her friend gingerly. The two had drifted apart since college began with Lillia being accepted by sorority royalty and Daisy never making out if the ranks of the bitchy wannabes. As the hug broke apart Lillia caught a glint of something in her friends eye, a smugness she hadn't seen since Daisy had run the high school popular crowd.

'So who were you thinking of? Brad? Mugsy?' Daisy's tone was innocent but the glint was still in her eye.

Lillia shrugged. 'Nobody in particular, it's just exciting to be back I guess.' She tried to walk away but Daisy wasn't done.

'Hmmm. If you say so... Though I'm not sure that just being back is reason to blush as much as you were doing.' For a moment it looked as the Daisy was going to keep on pushing but she abruptly changed tack.

'So what did you and Rose get up to this summer while I was in Maui?'

Relieved Lillia replied, 'Oh not much, the beach, a few clubs, the mall, movies, talking. You know how Lucky Palms is.'

'Oh I sure do! So you talked a lot. I expect it took Rosie a while to get over Noki.... Strange how months of happiness can be washed away so fast.'

Lillia stiffened. She didn't want to discuss that. 'Yes, Rose took it hard, it was a shock that it fell apart so quickly.'

'So fast.' Daisy leaned in with a wicked smile, 'In fact it only took seven minutes.'

As Daisy stepped back there was triumph written all over her face. Lillia's speechless horror had told her everything she needed to know and with one last smug smile she melted back into the crowd.

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For the next few weeks Lillia spent her days in a state of near-constant panic. Expecting Daisy to have told Rose she spent long hours in the library, avoiding the house wherever possible in the hope that her cousin might have at least calmed down a little before the inevitable confrontation. But the storm never hit and as the term got going Lillia gradually began to let her guard down. With Rose's time being divided between her many friends all over campus the two had drifted apart again which helped ease the guilty twinge that she couldn't ignore when they were together.

Months passed in a generic blur, broken up by moments of excitement (the annual Toga party) and stress (exams). Christmas came and went in a cinnamon scented haze and Lillia had just settled back into classes when the storm came. It was almost unheard of, on the edge of impossibility but that was the year that it snowed in Arizona! It might as well have been the apocalypse, classes were cancelled, girls cried and huddled in their rooms with cocoa and movies, the normal world of college just stopped for a week.

Lillia thought it was magical and while her sorority sisters huddled in the house she pulled on her coat and boots and explored the strangely alien frozen world that campus had become. The people who ventured out seemed different to the usual college types, their big coats, cold related small talk and red noses made it feel a friendlier place, more like a community than the normal set up of rigid cliques. To Lillia the whole college felt like new with all the reminders of stupid things she had done hidden under a clean white blanket. It felt like anything could happen, which is perhaps why the unthinkable did.

She had ventured out into the residential area behind the stadium and discovered a funny little house, painted all in yellow that stood out sharply in the white world. It seemed abandoned so she snuck up and peeked in the window, amused to discover that the interior was all be yellow too! As she stepped back she collided with something warm and solid, someone had come up behind her and caught her peeping.

Embarrassed Lillia muttered an apology and turned to leave without even looking whoever it was in the face. A hand on her sleeve made her stiffen but it was the familiar voice which really stopped her in her tracks.

'What a nice surprise!' His tone was jovial but it still did that dangerous brain muddling thing to her.

'Uh- oh.... Um....' was all she managed until his charming grin at her tongue-tiedness reminded her why she wasn't friends with him. Lillia took a steadying breath and began to walk away.

'Good bye Noki' was her only communication.

But he didn't get the hint, following her as she strode purposefully down the drive.

'Wait! Lillia! Can we talk?' Noki's long stride easily matched her own, drifting closer as the undeniable electricity between them rose back to the surface. But she was different now so she kept walking, raising her hand as he tried to step closer to her than she was comfortable with.

'There's nothing to talk about. Nothing at all. What are you even doing here? Go back to Texas!' As calm as Lillia was trying to stay she couldn't keep the edge of panic out of her voice. She needed for him, her biggest mistake, to be far away. But here he was, with a few miles of her home, he needed to go back and fast before he could break her defences back down or tell anyone what they had done.

But life had other plans and once again the stars were not aligned in Lillia's favour.

'This is where I live now,' Noki gestured back at the yellow house his tone had lost some of it's cockiness, 'I... I transferred schools. It's a long story, if you'll stop running away then I'll tell you the whole damn thing.'

For a moment Lillia paused! she could hear something in his voice she hadn't heard before. He sounded almost... Vulnerable. She shook herself. It didn't matter. She looked him squarely in the face, ignoring the hopefulness of his expression and spoke firmly, as much for herself as for him.

'I'm sorry but I can't, won't stay. Find another friend,' and repeating her earlier farewell she turned and left.

This time he didn't follow her.

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Read on in Chapter 9 - No More Hiding

The Monroe Legacy - G.4 Chapter 7 - Guilty Secrets

As Rose sobbed in her arms the sickening guilt that had been boiling in Lillia’s belly began to climb her throat, the few mouthfuls of breakfast she had managed threatening to make a comeback. After a broken night’s sleep she had timidly gone to Rose’s room, half-expecting to be greeted by a storm of accusations and abuse and the other half of her hoping that her cousin would be elsewhere.

Instead she was pulled in by a heartbroken Rose. She had just got off the phone with Anoki expecting their fight to have dissolved in the cold light of day but he had told her it was over, that she should move on, that he didn’t and couldn’t love her. It was brutal, final and it meant that Lillia would have to tell Rose the truth herself or deceive her cousin forever. 

Her long-practiced numbness and refusal to accept blame or judgement warred in her head with the terrifying new plan of honesty and kindness, it was a moment where she could continue to be what she had been or truly begin to change.

Lillia drew a deep breath and prepared herself to finally start doing the right thing.

‘Rose….’ She began, determination holding up her flagging courage. ‘There’s something I need to tell you.’

Her cousin turned her tearstained face to Lillia and nodded,

‘Okay, but can you tell me on the drive home? I can’t be in this place any more, it all reminds me of him.’ Lillia nodded, the coward in her relieved and the rest of her reasoning that she should get Rose back to the comforting arms of her family before causing her more pain. But she would tell her. Just not now.

Rose rallied on the drive home, each mile they put between Arizona and themselves she sat a little straighter and was soon planning a summer full of distractions and trips. Lillia let her talk, her secret bitter on the tip of her tongue and her mind working to figure out whether it was best to crush Rose while she was already down or go along with her planning and tell her when she was less fragile.

Her internal battle carried Lillia all the way back to Lucky Palms and suddenly she was among people who didn't see the self-centred mean girl, here she was the sensible daughter, the heiress and the good cousin. Her family's pride in her success at college, their sympathy for Rose's heartbreak and their pleasure at being together again made up Lillia's mind.

As sickening as what she had done was... It was only a kiss. Telling Rose would ruin her summer just as Noki had ruined her year. The family would be shaken, fractured perhaps and Lillia was determined not only to make everyone proud it also to become the young woman they believed her to be.

The little voice in her head told her that turning over a new leaf wouldn't make it right, that she should come clean and then make good, but it was summer, they were hundreds of miles from the scene of the crime and Lillia would make sure that she was the best friend Rose could ask for. Then she would be sure to forgive her when the right moment finally arrived for the truth to be known.

The summer passed in a flurry of beautiful days and balmy nights. Rose and Lillia were as inseparable as they had been as children, lying in the sun for hours and giggling about their past exploits, moaning about Daisy's two-faced ways ad tossing a frisbee around. 

The days were as golden as their tans and Rose soon put Noki to the side and fell into a summer fling, laughing that Lillia should double date with her. And she had tried.

She had put on her prettiest dress and a flirty smile and gone to dinner, let them hold her too close on the dance floor and taken a deep breath before running when they went to kiss her. But with each one the same thing was missing as always had been. Now that Lillia knew the breathlessness of losing herself in a moment, had felt the heat of a stolen glance and the enticing uncertainty of a conversation laced with hidden meaning, returning to those old days of meaningless flings was impossible. Even as she fought to forget him and worked to undo the damage her own foolishness had caused, Noki was constantly in her thoughts.

She and Rose never discussed him, it was like he had never existed and she began to wonder if her plan to one day tell Rose would be necessary. But when Lillia was alone in her bed she couldn't keep her mind off what had happened, he was constantly in her dreams and she knew that even if Rose was truly over her heartbreak the truth still needed to be told. Until the past was truly behind her Lillia would never completely be the new person she wanted to be

And she was truly beginning to change.

She spent time helping at the brasserie, a task she'd always avoided with care, spending time with her parents and trying to make their lives easier. She spent time with Eva, looked after Flynn and took him to the skate park that he was obsessed with when his parents were to busy to. She studied, let Casper teach her chess, got to know Tia properly. All the little things Lillia had always sneered at and avoided when she was letting the Flowers steer her she tried out and found that most she actually enjoyed.

For the first time since her accident Lillia began to feel like a whole person. It seemed that her anger and fear had pushed her to fill the gap in her life with more of the things that were right in front of her instead of looking for new opportunities and things to hold on to. Buoyed by this one evening she went outside to the pool, the scene of the crime, hoping that maybe she would be able to put that demon behind her as well.

The water sparkled in the moonlight, the gentle lap of the waves against the tiles sounded so familiar and Lillia approached with her breath held. Just when she thought she was going to do it the panic seized her.

She felt as if she was about to pitch forward into the water and be dragged down. Tears streamed down her face and her breathing became ragged as she collapsed panting on the poolside.

That was how Rose found her, hunched over and heartbroken, for all of the mistakes she had made but even more resolute in her decision to change. The two sat in silence for a while before Rose asked if Lillia wanted to talk.

The summer was ending and Lillia knew that she was running out of time to come clean, she had worked so hard to be a better friend to Rose and the thought  of spoiling it was galling. But she had promised....

'I don't want you to hate me Rosie,' she began, hesitating over how best to dull the pain of her confession for her friend.

Rose just looked confused before responding with a joke,

'I don't hate you Lillia! Well not unless you copy my dress or steal my boyfriend anyway!'

Lillia smiled weakly as the sick feeling in her stomach intensified in to a solid brick of fear. She tried to force the words around it, to make her mouth form the harsh truth but in the wake of her cousins throwaway comment she just couldn't bring herself to destroy them both.

'Lillia?' Rose cut into her thoughts, her tone concerned. 'What's wrong?'

Lillia shook her head to clear the panic and pasted on a bright smile, for once glad that she was so good at glossing over an awkward situation with a false happiness.

'Oh nothing,' she responded, furious at her cowardice even as she admitted to herself what she should have known from the beginning, she couldn't, no wouldn't, tell Rose about Noki. It was in the past and she was building a new future, what was one more regret when she already lived with so many from her years of misbehaving. That chapter was officially over.

'You know I would never do anything to deliberately hurt you right?' was her only concession to the truth.

Rose rolled her eyes.

'I know that! Well except that one time you made me get a Brazilian! Now let's go out dancing, one last night before the packing begins.'

Lillia let her cousin drag her away, giving in once more to the current of what was expected of her but swearing to herself that from now on she would be living with her eyes open. There would be no more casualties with Lillia Monroe's name on them.

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Sometimes we are not masters of out own fate - Read on with Chapter 8 - Bad Penny

The Monroe Legacy - G.4. Chapter 6 - Irresistible

College, thought Lillia Monroe as she lay slightly hungover in bed one Saturday morning, was almost exactly like high school expect everyone was drunker. The same cliques existed, the same girls hooked up with the same guys, there were just no parents and more parties. At first, this familiarity was kind of a relief, Lillia slid easily into sorority life making a new group of friends which left her only mildly irritated by Daisy and Rose’s successful pledges.

The first semester flew by in a whirl, Lillia studied, dated and played her way to the top of the college social scene, her presence and perfect smile the mark of approval every fraternity hoped its party would earn. At first this was a great novelty but as her first year wore on Lillia began to feel that it was all rather meaningless. She was good in athletics but never going to be the best, she would pass all her courses but she wouldn’t be top and she could catch the most eligible guys at the school, but she couldn’t make herself fall for them.

As she heard the first sounds of life from the rest of the house she tried to summon the energy to get out of bed and seize the day, Carpe Diem, as her father was fond of saying when she was being lazy as a teen. And she really did try to make him proud. Lillia reminded herself daily as she put on her makeup how lucky she was, she was alive, pretty, popular and wealthy enough that money was never a concern – what excuse did she have to be miserable?

 But this morning was one of those mornings that wouldn’t be seized. Most days the dissatisfaction at her seemingly charmed life could be pushed down, Lillia was practiced at ignoring the tiny prickles of sadness that broke through her glossy, happy surface. Today the hurt seemed sharper and she had just snuggled back into her duvet when he burst through her door.

The stranger in her room was tall, broad, half naked and clearly still drunk. When she finally pulled her eyes away from his bronzed chest Lillia found the guy was staring at her with an amused smirk before drawling,

‘Hey gorgeous…like what you see?’

Lillia felt a hot flush burn her cheeks, nobody had ever had quite such an effect on her before, let alone presumed to speak to her with such obvious innuendo. Before she could think of a witty response Rose came barrelling in, her hair wild and also half-dressed.

‘Hey babe – did you get the wrong room?’ she said, padding over and wrapping her arm around the guys waist. ‘Lil this is Noki, Noki this is my cousin Lillia.’

Lillia’s scrambled brain took a moment to add all of the information up and adjust. Rose had been seeing a guy from the University of Texas for a couple of months now, the son of an infamous oil baron with something of a playboy reputation and now he was standing in Lillia’s room, a dangerous glint in his eye and looking pretty uninterested in the half naked girl draped all over him.

God he was beatif…no! Lillia mentally smacked herself, wondering what crazy facial expressions she must be making. Rose wasn’t just some girl, she was family and family absolutely do not have thoughts like those Lillia was trying to crush in to non-existence. 

Lillia was so engaged keeping her thoughts pure and her face neutral that she didn’t hear what else was said, only really processing that the couple in front of her were leaving. Just when she thought she had herself under control Noki turned around and winked, his eyes trailing lazily over what she now realised was a pretty flimsy nightdress.

‘I’ll see you around, Lily’ he said as the door began to swing closed/

Reflexively she called after him, ‘It’s LILLIA’, before realising that she shouldn't really care and collapsing back on her bed in defeat.

At least the interruption seemed to have shaken off her melancholy for the day.

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The rest of the school year passed pretty uneventfully, Lillia decided not to date until after finals, the run in with Rose's date giving her faith that when the right guy came along she would feel something more than the vague interest which had sustained her relationships to date. She studied harder than she ever had before, partially as a result of her realisation that she wouldn't be able to make a living as a sportswoman but also, and she was ashamed to admit it, to avoid Noki who seemed to be at their house more than anyone who went to school in Texas should be.

Noki,or Anoki as she had discovered his full name was, seemed to delight in making Lillia uncomfortable. Where usually she could glide through a social situation she found that with him in the room she often fumbled. He was quick to mock her, a sharp intelligence clearly underlying his snobby jock exterior, he never fawned over her as the other guys tended to and he treated her, and indeed the whole world, as if they were something of a joke to him.

Lillia's complaints to Rose that having Noki around so much was less than a delight fell on deaf ears. Her cousin might insist that they were casual, that neither of them wanted a commitment and that it was no big deal but her eyes told Lillia that she was infatuated with the guy and she always sprung to his defence.

At first Lillia thought that perhaps the distance that this opened up between her and Rose would be a good thing, she wouldn't have to deal with Noki so much but if anything the opposite was true. As term wound down and lectures gave way to parties and play he seemed to seek her out to continue his teasing.

Mostly Lillia could just toss her hair and go off with the nearest group of girlfriends or admirers whose steady admiration would smooth her ruffled feathers but their familiar company always felt somehow lacking after she had crossed swords with Noki, he was the only person she knew who would stand up to her. He was infuriating. He was enticing.

For maybe the first time in her life Lillia Monroe wasn't in control of the situation or of her emotions. The arms length that she kept everyone at didn't seem like enough with Noki, he pushed her buttons and every time she did the right thing and turned away from what seemed almost like flirting he would outmanoeuvre her and suck her back in. Lillia wasn't stupid, she'd seen the movies, read the books and she knew what kind of a guy he was, her head made all the right choices but her heart seemed to be pushing her towards a dangerous place.

It was strange really that it took her cousins bad-news sometimes-boyfriend to show Lillia what she had been doing for years. She'd never faltered in her pursuit of a guy before, even if was a passing fancy she had forged on with total disregard for his relationship status but seeing how tangled up in Noki Rose was, seeing how much his carelessness hurt someone she cared about stopped Lillia in her tracks. She had been a Noki to so many people, playing with their desires and fears to suit herself, keeping them guessing and casting them off when they began to bore her.

All of this time Lillia's harmless fun had only really been harmless to her, her place at the top had never been muddied by the messes she made. Looking at who she had become Lillia felt ashamed, she doubted that the fact she had never intended to hurt anyone absolved her of blame, if anything her obliviousness had made it worse, her cruelty had been careless and instinctive. It was ironic really that it took being exposed to a guy like Noki, took falling for someone who she could never respect and never have, to jolt Lillia out of her two-year stupor.

Lillia was surprised by the vividness of the emotions she felt, she was used to the dullness of her down days and the seething, frustrated pressure of her temper. The shame at who she had been, the excitement of the idea of Noki and the disappointing reality of the situation were like bright spots of spilled paint on a black and white picture. For the first time in a long time Lillia looked in the mirror and saw more than a familiar face, it wasn't all pretty but it was real.

Perhaps it would have been better if she had stayed numb for longer, perhaps the old Lillia would have considered herself above the Gamma bonfire party. She definitely wouldn't have done that last keg stand or taken that dare. 

The old Lillia might have been cold but she had been sensible and her control over her life had been absolute. She wouldn't have allowed her cousin to go home alone after a screaming drunken row with her sort of boyfriend when he told her it was over, she definitely wouldn't have felt guilty about her secret thrill at this news. She wouldn't have dropped her guard at a party, wouldn't have danced so freely, laughed so hard or dipped her toes in the hot tub (not even a whole Keg of beer could have got her all the way in the water.)

Most of all the old Lillia would never have played seven minutes in heaven with a bottle of tequila and the boy her cousin was in love with. 

When he kissed her she wouldn't have kissed him back. 

The feel of his hands pulling her to him and claiming his prize would have been unthinkable. 

It wouldn't have thrilled her.

The old Lillia would never have been found curled up and crying in the bathroom hating herself for what she had done, hating herself for ruining everything. Hating herself for loving him.

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Read Chapter 7 - Guilty Secret 

The Monroe Legacy - G.4 Chapter 4 - Facade and Failure

Sorry.

The most overused, insincere word in the English language thought Lillia Monroe. All summer everybody had been "sorry" for what had happened to her. Their families were sorry, their churches were sorry and praying for her, she was sure even their damn pets would be apologetic if they could only verbalise it.

Even the people who didn't say the word said it with their faces. It was infuriating. Perhaps it was the brain damage making her irritable but it sure felt as if the people around her weren't helping. She couldn't even stand to be around Jeremy. They had barely lasted a month after her leaving hospital, he had been so considerate, too considerate even, and she would catch him looking at her hopefully, waiting for her to somehow rediscover six months worth of feelings that would match his own. 

At first she'd tried to make it happen, he had saved her life and she had always had a crush on him, but as the weeks dragged by the affection in his gaze became mixed with pity and frustration and she'd ended it. Lillia fended off his pleas for time with the truth, that she didn't know she was so she couldn't be anything to anyone else, hardening herself to his desperation, being cruel to be kind.

As the beginning of the school year approached Lillia began to dread the return to Brittlebush, she had been their queen and now everyone was bound to just feel sorry for her instead. A week before school started she decided that she just couldn't stand the idea, so what if she'd had six months out and lost the six months before that. She knew how to make nice and she definitely knew how to rule a situation, take over and nobody would dare pity her.

Looking in her mirror the morning of the first day of senior year Lillia narrowed her eyes at her reflection. No more Miss Congeniality.

When she stepped out of her new car in the car park she felt a ripple of surprise roll around the parking lot, it wasn't like her to show up without her back-up girls. But that was the old Lillia, throwing her bag on she strode towards the school, head held high and completely ignored the sea of confused faces which parted before her.

When she arrived at the place she knew her friends would be waiting she zoned straight in on Daisy who was sitting on the table in the middle, holding court. Not hesitating she breezed over and tapped her in the shoulder. Daisy looked up and her eyes widened.

'Thanks for keeping my seat warm Dais, but I'm back now' Lillia announced, her joking tone barely masking the sharp threat. She pushed Daisy's books to one side and dumped her own in place, settling in the spot Daisy somewhat dazedly stood up from.

'So what did I miss?' She asked the dumbfounded circle of jocks and girls which now surrounded her. It took a moment but one by one the confusion passed and they slipped back into the old way, starting to chatter about the parties and the break ups she had missed.

Lillia smiled. Now let them feel sorry for her.

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Three envelopes lay on the table in the careers councillor's office, two skinny and one fat. Lillia's throat was dry. This was the only moment of senior year that she hadn't been able to control, none of the manipulation, the mind games or her untouchable status as the bitch queen of the senior class would help her. She'd worked hard for her pass grades, she'd trained hard for an athletic scholarship now that swimming was off the table and it looked like only one of her three options thought she had done enough.

Lillia hoped it was Stanford. The idea of it was intoxicating, her sport specialism making up for her average grades or so she hoped. Better yet it a world away, California was a whole other world where nobody could possibly know about her accident, about the old her.

The councillor entered and sat down, sliding the fat envelope towards her. 

'Congratulations Miss Monroe, you're going to college!'

Holding her breath Lillia slid the welcome packet out of the envelope.

Welcome to the University of Arizona!

The rest of the letter was a blur, those five words seeming to throb on the page as disappointment surged through Lillia's body. Far from the fresh start she'd dreamed of, she'd be only six hours away with Daisy and Rose for company.

Once again she cursed the accident, she had had her pick of swimming schools but despite her dedication to athletics this year she knew it had been too long since she had been competitive in the highest level. If she was being honest with herself Lillia knew she was lucky to even make Arizona, that her transcript had changed so much since they first showed their interest.

At the back of her mind a little voice mocked her, sounding kind of like Daisy, it told her that Arizona was all she was ever good enough for and she tried to mute it.  It didn't matter how she looked at it, that accident had stolen not only a chunk of her past but also her ability to choose her future. It seemed as if Lillia was doomed to keep following this path that was laid out before her, walking with the Flowers from one small pond to another, making waves and changing nothing.

Lillia tried to put on a brave face when she told her parents the "great" news and was glad she had.  Rachel dissolved at once in to tears whilst even Gray looked a little wet around the eyes. It seemed that despite the positivity they had tried to surround her with they had been as worried as she had that her future might have been spoiled by the accident and her time out.

The next evening they took her out to a special surprise dinner, dragging Casper out or his room where he had been shut in since his return from space camp the week before, to eat in the half built space of their new restaurant. It was the first time Lillia had seen it and she knew at once it was bound to be a hit. The rustic wood and private booths were set off perfectly by the light modern twists her father loved and she knew the food would be just as great.

Gray took Rachel's hand and Lillia saw that look pass between them that she'd always envied, it was nothing more than a glance but whenever she caught it she could see them both relax, it was as if they could in an instant remind one another of their love, history and the security they had together.

Gray raised his glass.

'Kids, we brought you here tonight to celebrate Lillia's college acceptance but also because we wanted you to see the place. I know that life hasn't been easy on either of you, that perhaps you're not always sure if it's going to get better.

This restaurant is proof that it will.

Your mother and I dreamed of owning our own place before we even met, it was one of the first things we shared. Then we got to share you which was better still. Life got hard, as it seemed to do unfairly often and we sold what we thought was our dream restaurant to help us protect a bigger dream. Our family. At that point we thought it was over, that we had enough and more than we ever deserved.

And we did. For all the heartache and drama we wouldn't have swapped our time with you for the best restaurant in the world. Until suddenly we didn't have to. A moment arrived and suddenly it was the right time, the right place and the right dream. 

I'm rambling now and I'm sure you want to eat but what I'm trying to say is this. Perhaps life seems to be taking turns for the worst, perhaps your plans for the future have been crushed and you feel lost. But you will find a way. Maybe not the way you planned and certainly not at the moment you expected but keep trying, keep hoping and before you know it you'll be living a dream you never even expected to come true.'

Sitting down they all drank, Rachel's eyes passing over Lillia as she stared into her glass and Casper looking unusually jubilant.

They passed a pleasant evening, despite Casper's repeated requests that they hurry home and meandered back to the house. Later that night when everyone was in bed, Lillia lay on top of the covers and wondered if her dad was right. She felt as if she couldn't even be sure what she wanted, that those missing six months seemed to have seen a lot change and that she hated the idea of never knowing who that Lillia was and what she had dreamed of.

As she worried she heard a raised voice from down the hall and then a frantic shushing. Lillia sat up and listened. At first she wondered if it was her parents but the muffled sounds seemed to be coming from the wrong side of the house. Who was Casper yelling at?

Her worries forgotten Lillia got up and crept down the hall, following the hushed conversation that she was now sure was coming from Casper's room. As she reached his door she for one moment panicked that perhaps it was an intruder but even as she dismissed that idea her momentum carried her into view of his door.

Peeking through the glass she saw Casper in heated conversation with..... A girl?

Surprise rocked through Lillia, she couldn't believe Casper had a girl in his room. A girl with purple hair no less!

Unable to hold back her curiosity she quietly opened the door and stepped inside. The girl's eyes widening as she saw her and Casper spinning round, panic etched across his features.

'Lillia!' He exclaimed, his eyes wide and begging her not to make a noise, 'Don't tell mom and dad?'

Lillia gave a tiny chuckle at her brother's reflexive reaction but reigned it in when she saw the girl's shoulders slump. Casper noticed to and turned back to her,

'Please try to understand! I'm not ashamed of you I just don't want you to have to leave! They might not understand' his tone had gone soft and pleading and Lillia could tell that whoever this strange girl was her brother cared a lot about her. Knowing how hard it was for him to form attachments she felt a surge of happiness for him followed by worry about what this whole situation was.

'Casper' she began, drawing his attention back to her. 'I can't promise not to tell mom and dad but if you explain what's going on to me I'll try and help you sort the whole thing out.'

Her brother's eyes flickered back to the girl and he sighed, bracing himself for her reaction

He took a deep breath.

'Lil, this is Tia.'

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Read Generation 4 Chapter 5 - Missing  Pieces