The Monroe Legacy - G.3. Chapter 4 - Keep On Trying

Gray slept in the spare room again that night, and for the weeks that followed he tried everything he could to be at peace with the choice his girlfriend had made, to see it as the beginning of his legacy chapter.

As Aisha began to show they told the family, Gray stretching out a smile that seemed to convince them that this had been a pleasant surprise.  They presented a united front to the house, with Sienna acting out and Cai undergoing chemo for the now confirmed bladder cancer, it wasn't fair to inflict their personal drama on the household.

Aisha tried everything to draw Gray back to her, in the privacy of their room there were tears and tantrums, guilt trips, lap dances and even attempts to make him jealous by sending flirty texts to other guys. Gray almost wished her attempts made him angry or excited in any way. Instead He just felt betrayed and indifferent to the girl he had loved, he hoped that maybe time would bring back the old safety he had felt with her so they could pass that on to their child.

Gray took the morning off work to attend Aisha's OBGYN appointment with her. They had decided to find out the sex of their baby, Aisha because she wanted to go shopping and Gray because he didn't have it in him to disagree with her.  As the doctor moved the wand over Aisha's small bump a grainy little figure appeared on the screen curled up and with it's little heart beating steadily through the speakers.

The fast thump-thump of the baby's heart cut through Gray's shroud of numbness and he stared completely mesmerised at the little person he and Aisha had created. Before, all the baby had been was Aisha's selfish attempt to get what she wanted but now he could see it, see that it was it's own precious self and he couldn't wait to meet it.

As they emerged from the clinic, Gray couldn't stop staring at the sonogram picture. Aisha burst his bubble by asking if they could go to the DIY store. When Gray asked why, Aisha looked at him strangely and said,

'I want to get some pink paint for our daughter's room. I told you inside?'

Gray had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn't even heard the doctor tell them they were having a little girl.

The months of Aisha's pregnancy galloped by. Cai was once again in remission and the triplets graduated high school. Jet made the grades needed to follow the path he wanted with the army, whilst Sienna, despite all of her drama, was top of the class. Saffron had finished with a solid GPA but wasn't planning to go to college, she'd finally managed to convince Violet to get her a job at the studio and she'd be starting straight away as the coffee girl!

Two nights after graduation Hallie found Sienna's bed empty and a note waiting. Their daughter had done what she'd been forbidden to do, rushed off in an old van with Ethan's band and deferred college for a year. Gray tried to comfort his mother, all they could do was trust that she was a smart girl and pray that she came home safely, chasing her and forcing her back would only make her want to rebel twice as much.

Gray hoped that his daughter would never put him through the kind of worry he could see in his parent's eyes. He had recently felt her kicking for the first time, another moment where he fell even more in love with his baby. Gray had been so excited he'd crushed Aisha in a hug and kissed her impulsively. Even as she kissed him back with enthusiasm he felt the emptiness of the gesture. It was like kissing a memory, he knew how it had used to feel and that feeling was gone.

But he had made a promise. A promise he intended to keep, he might not be in love with Aisha any more but he needed to protect her, just as she was protecting the child she was carrying, maybe the love would creep back in.

As the third trimester progressed he wondered if Aisha was beginning to feel the same because she had stopped throwing herself at him, content to try to build a trusting friendship when she wasn't sleeping or out relaxing at the spa. She had even stopped hinting at marriage, a subject Gray had been studiously avoiding. It was one thing to support the mother of his child within a loving and respectful friendship, it was another to stand in the eyes of God and family and promise things he wasn't sure he could ever feel for her again.

Eva Leonie Monroe was born the day after her due date weighing a healthy 7 pounds and screaming her lungs out. After a forty hour labour, Aisha was too exhausted to do more than kiss her downy head and fall asleep but Gray rocked her for hours, tracing the perfect lines of her face with the tip of his finger.

Violet had been right. Eva might have been a surprise but he would never think of her as a mistake now he could hold her in his arms.

Those first few months were magical. Exhausting, but magical. Every babble and coo from Eva wrapped Gray more firmly around her little finger. She was definitely daddy's girl.

To Gray's surprise Aisha insisted on going back to work and this meant they spent very little time together. Aisha would do the early morning feeds before work and watch Eva in the afternoons once she got home. Gray would do the mornings before his shift and do the night feeds when he got back late in the evening.

This routine allowed both parents to rest, bond with their daughter and also to avoid one another. Gray slept on the spare room, ostensibly so as not to disturb Aisha and vice versa. When Eva started sleeping through the night, the arrangement became more complex, they might be able to pretend with each other but the rest of the family would notice if they maintained separate bedrooms without any good reason.

Gray approached the subject with trepidation, the months of avoidance had been peaceful and as much as he sometimes missed the fun he and Aisha had had together, he had not missed the fighting.

As he tapped on their bedroom door, inwardly laughing at the ridiculousness of needing permission to enter his own room, he thought he heard giggling, a man's voice and then shushing. Aisha answered the door a minute later, casually dressed but made up. A quick glance around the room confirmed she was alone and when Gray spotted the laptop he guessed she had been watching TV.

Bracing for an outburst, he got straight to the point.

'Aisha, I can't stay in the spare room forever. I know the arrangement has been working but Eva is sleeping now and I don't really want to have to explain the whole situation to my parents.'

Aisha nodded, surprisingly calm as Gray continued,

'I know we haven't been... Well intimate for a while and I don't want to lie to you and say that I can go back to how things were, but I promised not to give up on you and I think that may be if we try being around each other more, as friends, perhaps we might be able to hold things together for Eva and find our way back together.'

Aisha shrugged, 'Let's just see what happens shall we? It's a king size and I promise not to jump you!'

With that she left the room, leaving Gray to wonder if he'd missed something, she had fought so hard, and so dirty to get her way before. Could it really be this easy? Was she really letting him win without any resistance?

In the months that followed Gray continued to be be surprised by Aisha and how easy-going she had become. She was working a lot but when she was home she was relaxed and pleasant company. She didn't have as much time for little Eva as she used to but she was a good mom, Hallie and Cai were more than happy to step in and fill the gaps when both Gray and Aisha were working.

Gray had been promoted to line cook and was enjoying his work even more now that he had something meaningful to do with his wages. He had already started a college find for Eva with Aisha paying in too, determined that his little girl would have every opportunity.

Things were swimming along nicely and despite his relationship being totally dysfunctional, Gray could almost say he was happy. The triplet's birthday was the first sign anything might be going to change. It was already a tense occasion as it marked Sienna's return to Lucky Palms, both Hallie and Cai were biting their tongues, she was planning to live in a tiny apartment with Ethan and they didn't want to push her away.

 With emotions already running high, Aisha's strange behaviour really didn't help.

As the family gathered around the cake, Eva began screaming upstairs and Aisha, rolling her eyes, went upstairs, they assumed she was to see to the baby.

Jet blew out his candles, then Sienna and finally Saffron. 

They were cutting the cakes and trying to ignore the scream in still coming down the stairs when Aisha reappeared, dressed to go out and rushed out the front door.

Gray called after her but she was chattering on her liken spas she hoped in a waiting cab and rushed off. Heading upstairs he found Eva tangled in her blanket with a wet diaper and her little foot caught in the bars if her crib. Calling for his parents help he got her free, the only damage a bruise on her ankle.

Hallie waited until the baby was settled before pulling Gray aside and demanding to know what was wrong. Apparently their little display of happy families hadn't been as convincing as Gray had thought.

With a little bit of encouragement from his parents the whole take came pouting out, their jaws dropping as they found out how baby Eva had come into the world.

As he told his story Gray began to realise how ridiculous the life he was faking really was. He knew, whatever he tried to do, he would never truly trust Aisha again, never love her like he used to. He could pretend until the day he died, he might even be content with this half life, but he sure as hell wasn't happy. It wasn't fair on him, wasn't fair on Aisha and wasn't fair on the baby.

Promising his mother that he would find a way forward, that he would work something out with Aisha he went to say good-night to Eva. She was sleeping so peacefully, her perfectly formed hand   pressed to her chubby little cheek. His eyes drifted down to the purple mark on her foot and his promise hardened to unshakable resolve.

With him and Aisha locked in a stupid game, with no rules and no stability, Eva was bound to get hurt emotionally or, worse yet, physically, as they weren't looking after her as well as they should. But that was not going to happen.

Gray was choosing his daughter and happiness, Aisha and him were history, he just hoped it wouldn't get ugly. 

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Find out how Aisha takes the news in Chapter 5 - Gone Girl