Authors Note - I'm so sorry for the long hiatus. I kind of fell out of love with this story because it just wasn't flowing, the save was laggy and RL got crazy. Then inspiration hit, I moved them to a new neighbourhood and life calmed down. I have a few chapters ready to go and I will henceforth be aiming to publish a chapter a week. Probably Monday or Tuesday.
Thanks for bearing with me :)
Rose XX
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'Rose! Wait!'
Lillia threw open the door and shouted at her cousin's
retreating figure but Rose showed no sign of slowing.
'Please Rose!' Perhaps it was the pleading tone of her
voice, perhaps Rose just wanted to confront them but this time she did stop,
turning slowly to reveal tear streaked cheeks and blazing eyes.
'Fine' she spat. 'You have two minutes,' and with that
she stalked back up the drive and through the door.
Noki stepped forward, his posture displaying his
discomfort and voice laced with concern.
'Rose, it isn't what it looks like..'
'No! I'm not here to listen to you Anoki. I'm here for
one reason and one reason only. So that Lillia can tell me the truth.'. In the
face of Rose's fury Noki shrank back and Lillia, trying to compose herself
stepped forwards.
'There's nothing going on between us Rose, I didn't
even mean to come here but there was some stuff we needed to talk through.
Stuff involving you.'
Rose's shoulder slumped.
'I knew it.' The rage was gone from her voice and sadness
had taken it's place. 'Ever since Daisy told me last year that the two of you
were getting it on I've watched for anything to make me believe her. I could
ignore the little glances and you constantly trying to avoid talking about him.
I almost had myself convinced that it was all just another one of Daisy's
schemes. But she was right. Something did happen.'
Lillia nodded slowly, 'I kept trying to find a way to
tell you. It was the end of year party and it was a huge mistake.'
Rose shook her head, 'No the huge mistake was me
assuming that because we were related you would treat me any differently than
those other innocent girls who got between you and something you wanted. The
mistake was me believing that there was some of the Lillia I knew before the accident
under that cold plastic exterior.'
Lillia couldn't find anything to rebut that. It stung
but it was the truth after all, just as she'd feared that last loose thread of
dishonesty had unravelled all the hard work she'd done to change into a person
she wanted to be. Lillia was defeated but still Noki tried to defend her,
'It was just once and Lil was really drunk. Rose you
have to believe us.'
'I don't have to believe anything you two say.' There
was no understanding in those words, no hope of reconciliation. 'Once was one
time to many. I hope you're happy Lillia, you just made an enemy of the last
person on campus who was really on your side. You deserve him.'
And with that she turned and left.
Lillia and Noki stood side by side staring at the space
she had left. Ten minutes ago they had seen a new friendship stretching before
them and promised to help each other be better people. They had hoped for a
resolution. How stupid it all seemed now.
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The awful thing about life in the sorority, thought
Lillia, was that nothing had really changed. Before she had drifted past the
low whispers and sideways looks assuming they were nothing to do with her. But
Rose had stripped her of that illusion and now the dining hall was a minefield of
hurtful words. Selfish, slut, traitor, fake, bitch. That was their favourite.
She pretended not to hear it, that words didn't matter but seeing in Rose's
face that her own cousin believed those things of her was heartbreaking.
Some days she would muster up the courage to confront
them, drawing herself up and catapulting herself to heart of the noise, usually
around Daisy, intending to demand they say those things to her face. But the
second she was seated the smiles would snap into place and they'd chatter
mindlessly about celebrities and fashion until she could bear the two-facedness
no longer.
Worse still was the return home to Lucky Palms where
the fair-weather friends of the party scene flocked to Rose's side and a frosty
divide had set in between two branches of the Monroe family. Where once Gray,
Jet and the other siblings had eaten en masse at the bistro at least weekly
there was now nothing. The ranch was off limits because of Lillia and though
Gray had assured her it would blow over, his tone suggested he wasn't impressed
by her actions.
Rachel's reaction was worse yet. While Gray had largely
avoided the topic except to confirm that what they had heard second hand (a
full-blown affair spanning months) was not true, Lillia's mother had been unable
to hide her disappointment. The morning after Lillia returned for spring break
she found her mom with a serious expression and two cups of coffee waiting in
an otherwise deserted house.
'Mom... I didn't mean to-',
'Stop there
Lillia. You didn't mean to hurt your cousin. It was a mistake. We've all heard
it a hundred times. And honestly I believe that you didn't mean to do it. The
problem is that I think you don't mean to do a lot of the things you do, I
blame myself and your father for part of that, I was always so proud to have a
"popular" daughter that I assumed that the person I knew was the same
one the rest of the world saw, even if the evidence didn't exactly support my
view .'
Lillia hung her head and Rachel's tone softened
slightly.
'Lillia honey, I know you didn't have an easy run of
it, Eva's disappearance, the accident, your dad and I being so busy. You were
always such a sweet child that we just let you do as you wanted, I never told
you no or raised my concerns at first because they seemed silly and then
because I didn't want to push you away or upset you. You were this beautiful
and completely confusing teenager and I wanted to keep you close. It seemed to
get worse when you went to University and I wondered if I should say something
then but just when I got up the nerve you seemed to go back to being more like
that little girl I used to know.'
'I've been trying mommy,' Lillia could barely hold back
the tears, she could cope with everyone else hating her but knowing that her
own mother had looked at her and seen a stranger was too much.
'I know baby.' Rachel's composure began to crumble too
and she came to comfort her daughter. 'You're my daughter which
means I notice that stuff. And you get as many do-overs as you need when it
comes to me. I'll love you even if you decide to join the circus or move to
Mongolia and become a monk. Which is why I had to talk to you now, before you
get any further down whatever path you choose.
In this house you always have the chance to wipe the
slate clean but that won't happen elsewhere. Most people won't give you the
chance to figure it out and once you lose them it's over. Even that isn't always the
end of the world, losing people is part of life, we leave the people we don't
fit in with behind as we figure out who we are.
What you have to decide is who you want to be, not in
terms of your job or your future prospects but in terms of what's in your
heart, the things which truly matter to you. And then surround yourself with
people who make you into that person, don't torment yourself over all the
others who fall by the wayside. Figure out which people are worth fighting to
have in your life and do whatever you can to hold on to them.'
'And if it's too late? If they already gave up on you?'
Lillia's voice was unsteady.
Rachel smiled, 'Then you have to believe it isn't
over.'
Lillia managed a watery smile in return. 'Okay.'
After gathering up the mugs and stacking the dishwasher
Rachel looked over at where Lillia was still lost in thought.
'Hey Lil?'
'Hmmmmm?' was all she got back.
'How about my trendy daughter takes her old mom to the
mall for a little girl time?'
Lillia finally focused back on the situation at hand, a
mother daughter bonding day might be just what the doctor had ordered.
'Fine, but only if you promise never to use the word
trendy ever again!' she laughed.
