In all the great love stories, the destined lovers come together in a shower of sparks. Stars align, shoulders bump in a coffee line and the twists and turns are gentle and minimally painful. Lillia called bullshit.
She'd had a lot of boyfriends. Sometimes it had been romantic but more often than not it had been transactional, calculated; the elite of two circles extending their status, ensuring some meaningless title, proving she could get what she wanted. And now?
Whatever it was she had with Noki was certainly not rose petals and sunset strolls. She loved him. Lillia could admit that to herself now, and she was pretty sure he felt the same but they'd both hurt so many people it would never feel the pure and exciting rush of storybook love. And anyway, they were "just friends".
Since he'd moved to Lucky Palms they had spent a lot of time together, late nights at Sparky's, TV binges and dinner at his place. He'd even briefly met her parents and joined Lillia and Rose for a quick drink. From the outside it seemed they'd found an easy friendship, inside Lillia felt she was at war with herself.
Surely nothing good could come from giving into the feelings that had torn her life apart? Wouldn't her and Noki crossing that line prove right all the awful things she'd heard whispered in her last semester at college? And her family would never approve. Rose would never truly approve...
In the end it was Rose who made it happen.
Watching her idiot cousin and ex circle each other like self-flagellating martyrs had been fun for a few weeks but now it was pathetic. Anyone could see they wanted to be together and honestly? It was getting annoying to try not to yell "JUST KISS HIM" in Lillia's face every time she turned up for a coffee or a drink looking all sad and faraway.
Rose had decided that Mugsy was going to marry her and Mugsy was fine with that. Rose did not want morose Lillia at her engagement party so she hatched a plan.
Lillia walked into the empty bar with a puzzled look. Had she got the wrong time. An awkward throat-clear alerted her to Noki's presence.
"Rose isn't with you? She said 5PM..." He looked equally confused.
"Um- I thought this was supposed to be her party". Lillia struggled to connect the dots and was interrupted by the snick of a letter being slid down the bar by the barkeep.
"Rose told me to give you this," the woman said, clearly enjoying her part in the plot. "She said to tell you that she's bored of the 'will they wont they' and you can't come to her actual party until you 'sort your shit out'.
Lillia's cheeks burned. It was so Rose. She forced herself to look at Noki and saw the same scared, hopeful look dancing in his eyes as was swirling in her chest. He held out a hand.
"You wanna dance on it?" he said. And she did.
Everything and nothing changed. Lillia and Noki did the same things, but there was an honesty in the space between them. They'd agreed without really saying as much to take it slow, so there was no mad tumble into bed but where before they'd had stepped back from a brush of fingers while walking, a head on a shoulder during a movie they now leaned in.
Noki knew all her secrets, her worst parts and he wasn't going anywhere. She knew all his, from the mad family to the disaster of his finances and she was still in it too. For both of them this was new territory.
Rose claimed to be disappointed there had been no fireworks, no steamy bar bathroom hookup but Lillia could tell she wasn't really. Nobody was disappointed. Her parents hadn't even blinked when she'd told them her and Noki were feeling things out romantically, for the first time in a long time Lillia wasn't hiding anything from anyone, there were no games being played, it was easy.
Noki told her he loved her over beers they hadn't waited to get cold while watching a hospital drama. Lillia told him back after she'd had a second to collect herself while refilling the popcorn. Knowing it and saying it were two different things. Letting herself feel it was yet another.
It felt right though, another clear truth in the increasingly simple life she was building.
With things falling into place Lillia finally knew what she wanted to pursue. She signed up to a business course which, along with her major in sport would enable her to work with young athletes on building sustainable careers. Maybe all the bad things that had happened to her, all the bad things she'd done all on her own weren't the end of the world, but just shaping a new one. For the first time Lillia felt like maybe she had something worthwhile to add to her family's legacy. She might not be a star, a genius or even a particularly nice person, but she had kept going, kept learning.
Reading back over some of her family's journals she supposed persistence was what had really defined each of the heirs before her. Maybe her trials had been self-constructed but that didn't mean overcoming them was meaningless. She could build something better for her kids. Her family would support her in doing that and Noki's were out of the picture.
They had a clear shot, a real chance. That was better than some bullshit fairy tale happy ever after and nothing was going to get in their way.
